Things my Mother tought me...

[bikerchick68]

MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

[Duck on Wheels]

Thanks for that one, to remind me of my mom and myself. Mind if I make a copy and send it to my daughter?

[Trek420]

I'm sure it's ok bikeless, as a matter of fact if said daughter is really going to do ALC6 with me next year (ahem) we should get her to surf on over to TE.

TE-we recruit!

Trek-one-more-and-I-get-a-toaster-420

[DirtDiva]

LOL, but shouldn't we be giving out/receiving derailleurs or saddles or something for recruiting to TE? Or is the toaster for that all important post-ride nutrition?

[CorsairMac]

Maybe it's a carbon fiber toaster!!

[Trek420]

well, I got Queen & JLD to surf over here from another board, shadon from the ALC board, now my sis, a few other folks who may be lurking (hi there). I wonder how many of us found TE by word of mouth? Or should I say word of mouse?

maybe it toasts Luna Bars?

[DirtDiva]

I think a carbon fibre Luna Bar toaster is a great reward for your effort!

Hmm. I've never so much as laid eyes on a Luna Bar, but if/when I do, I'm so gonna have to toast one. I wonder if you could get them to catch fire...

[Yasmin]

Beautiful, Bikerchick, just beautiful! There must be carbon copies of your mum all over this planet!