Quote Originally Posted by bikerchick68
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T = To accept the reality of the loss
E = Experience the pain of the loss
A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost object
R = Reinvest in the new reality

This is Grief Work. It begins when the honeymoon period is over, the friends have stopped calling, everyone thinks you should be over it, the court case is resolved, "closure" has been effected, and everything is supposed to be back to normal. It's at this point that real grieving begins.[/COLOR]
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Here is another link that you may find comforting... it is an online grief and memorial sight... there are chat rooms where you can spill your feelings and talk to others who HAVE lost loved ones in car accidents or other traumatic ways... it has been checked out and approved for Crisis Intervention use by SDPD... so I am sure it is a safe site OK?

www.groww.org

Hugs my friend... be sure to take care of you and if you need to talk, tho we've not met in person, I am here to listen... I'd be happy to share my email, cell number etc... just let me know...
Thank you, bc68. I will definitely check out the site you mention. It sounds like it could be helpful. Even though the "honeymoon" (ironic term) period is still not quite over (I'm still getting calls, emails, and letters; people are still asking me how I'm doing at work, and such), I'm definitely in the "E" stage above...I can't imagine experiencing the grief will get worse than these past two weeks have been, but never having gone through grief of this magnititude before, I can't say that for sure, I know.

I do have one question for you because of your professional knowledge. Do you think our trip to the BVIs is a bad idea? We had it planned for May, for our 20th anniversary, and had to postpone it because of my fractured pelvis. During the summer, we rescheduled for the first two weeks in December. Barry offered to cancel it again under the circumstances, but this time we would lose a great deal of money if we cancel.

I can't help but think that a chance of scenery might do me good - the warm sunshine, the friendly people, the beautiful turquoise water, the activities, and the focus on my marriage, which has been pushed to the background lately as I've been so focused on my biological family. Sure, it won't be the trip I dreamed of, exactly, because the loss is going to be on my mind - especially on Dec. 7th, which would have been Dad's 72nd birthday - but I hate to give up the the trip. What do you think? Bad idea? Good idea? Or just impossible to say? I do find myself somewhat looking forward to it, not with my previous gung-ho enthusiasm, but it does seem like fun compared to going to work and hanging out at home.

I also am sure that Dad wouldn't want me to miss out on it grieving for him.

Thanks for your help, wishes, and kindness....

Emily