Emily,

My thoughts to you, as well.

If I can throw a little lightness into the mix - just want to warn you about the dreaded but little reported problem known as PLFS (Post-Loss Forgetfulness Syndrome). Keys - gone. Doctor's appointment - oops. Reason you got up to go into the next room - forgotten. Bottom step on the stairs that's been there forever - ouch. (believe me, perimenopausal forgetfullness has nothing on PLFS!)

When my mom died I had PLFS for months and months and months, way longer than my rational brain thought was fair. I'd get so frustrated with myself. Now I know to be more patient - big loss is such a shock to the system, so the system sometimes just fritzes out.

My wish for you is that you take it easy on yourself for as long as you need. Peace will come - in its own time, and in your own way.

Cathy