Emily - I'm so sorry about your Dad. I hope you find comfort in your memories and believe me, it does get a bit easier with time. Be advised that the first year without him will be the worst, but you can always post here if you need some hugs. He's your guardian angel. I lost my mom shortly before 9/11 and there are times when I still feel her with me. I know she's gone but she really hasn't left me because I'll always have her in my heart.

Like Gilly, I'm a bit of a chicken bike chick and I, too, found your courage to get back on your bike after your accident inspiring. That said, you have to do what's right for you. From reading your posts, I get the impression that you found much joy when riding your bike. I have had days where I've had some near misses---either on the street or the trail---and questioned whether or not biking was worth the risk. All it takes is one excellent ride to remind me how much I love it.

Life is risky and now that I'm over 40, I've become a more accepting of the things I can't control. Therefore, I've adopted a bit of a "if it's meant to be..." attitude and tried not to let my fear keep me from doing things. I can ride defensively and safely, but I can't be sure that drivers or other cyclists/trail users will do the same. About the bubba big truck factor, I don't know what to tell you. Be assured that those sort of a##h*&#s are everywhere, as evidenced by the many "jerk driver" posts on these forums. Maybe your cycling group/club can start a safety campaign with the local authorities or something?

Whatever you decide, you know that you'll always have friends here, ok?