Oh, to be a loser...

[deeaimond]

This is a really interesting thread.

I'm 150lb, and 5' 3". As things go, even though my BMI is high, I'm not FAT. I have a muffin top but i also have proportionately large boobs, butt and thighs. My waist to hip ratio was under 0.8 (until recently, now 0.82) As all things go, I know i'm pretty alright.

Thing is, I live in the land of the small. Here, females weigh an average 100lbs or less at a similar height to mine. And they are just that way. no exercise nothing. When i was in secondary school, i weighed about as much as i do now. I was 12 - 16 yrs, and for those four years i was the largest girl in my class. I got made fun of, was last to get picked for any games, called fatty etc.

I'm not saying that that was ok, but.. thing is i wasn't really fat but was made to believe i was because everyone kept telling me that. Instead of being motivated to lose weight, i avoided the issue even more, i never did any sports, hated running everything, ate in secret. It was like there was some hidden shame. It kinda messed me up. As I grew older, I started on activities that made me fitter, and for some periods helped me lose a decent amount of weight. But somehow I always had a very negative mindset towards being fat. If I were PMSing and emotional and my weight got abit high, I'd wear baggy clothes and stay away from people. There were times I'd look in the mirror and then just cry...

Since I started cycling however, I've started doing some pretty tough things, things many people won't even think of doing. Maybe also it coincides with age, I'm not surrounded by as many tiny willowy teenage girls who all have 20" waists. I've slowly begun to shed that negative self image. And now I want to lose weight because my spare tyre makes me feel uncomfortable in my very expensive cycling gear. I feel like, hey, I might be bigger than the rest, but I can do some pretty incredible things. Riding 320kms in 18 continuous hrs?

I rant about my weight to everyone (its easy here coz everyone else is tiny... hahha..) but honestly i need to keep letting myself hear it, otherwise i get caught up in work and i forget i need to work on the weight. and then another day passes without extra exercise and just one cookie/timtam. in a way its good, coz it means i'm learning to let go of my negative self image, but in a way its bad coz, the weight gain gets out of hand...

but i still need to lose weight. because next to the BF i still look like an unfit slob. he's gonna dump me and go for one of those babes eyeing him in the gym is i continue letting myself get out of shape. I just wanna keep him on the tip of his toes..

I guess, it doesn't matter what weight we are, everyone has issues with self image. and here it is good that somehow we are all very supportive of each others' efforts and resolve our differences in a very amicable manner. I do love the people on this forum

[e.e.cummings]

It takes a lot of strength and self-awareness to be as honest as you have been in your post. You are proud of your accomplishments and that is only going to build. I am sure your BF is proud of you as well - what is really attractive in a woman (or man for that matter) is believing in yourself, and it sounds like you have that - it sounds like you've come a long way - you go, girl!

[channlluv]

Yeah, what she said.

Deeiamond, you rose your bike for 18 straight hours? Holy-moly. That's a story I'd like to hear.

Roxy

[deeaimond]

Yeah, what she said.

Deeiamond, you rose your bike for 18 straight hours? Holy-moly. That's a story I'd like to hear.

Roxy

Hahaa... I think i told it before on here somewhere. It was a charity ride and I'd signed up, 24 hrs ride. So I rode. and rode and rode. 10am until... 3am.. i could not ride anymore coz my bits were very sore.. (moisture and padded tights don't mix very well) I turned off the route and went home for a short nap. As i lay my head down, i saw lightning and thunder in the distance anyways. So i was glad to escape the rain coz i had an exam to sit for the day after. Then i woke up at 7 and rode the remaining 3 hrs to the final pitstop.

during the ride, i had lots of encouragement, coz i signed up with a friend and some of our friends came and rode some parts with us. There were many pit stops with drinks and gels and bars available for us. and fruit and meals. At some parts i really crashed hard, but then i started taking a gel every 2 or three hours so i did alright.

It was mentally hard to keep going, coz physically it was tough but not as hard as convincing yrself that u had to go on. And i'm quite impressed that I did it..

But that was almost a year ago.. But for some reason I think i could still do that now. just maybe at a more relaxed pace, coz i havent been riding that much recently.

everyone should try it at least once. U'll be amazed at what you can find in yourself to do something like that.