Oh, to be a loser...

[e.e.cummings]

It's like when they tell you not to open your investment statements every month - the ups and downs of the market will drive you crazy. So will stepping on the scale every five minutes. Being in this program for four months makes me too conscious of all of this. However, I will live through, take some of the good advice here and try to enjoy the ride. I am not shooting for barbie doll, but I would like to get some fat off of this tummy and feel more fit.

[e.e.cummings]

nybiker - according to my program I am supposed to eat 1600 calories a day.

I used to be slender and very athletic before I had my son. I have always been athletic from the time I was a young teen - cycling, running, swimming, scuba diving, kayaking, etc. Once I had my son, and went through other attempts at pregnancy, my body went soft. It just does not feel like the me I always knew. As far as genetics go, my mother is in amazing shape for a 75 year old - very fit, lots of walking. I want to get back to being her size again (we could wear the same clothes), not because I want to be some magazine version of an ideal, but because I felt natural at that stage of fitness.

[Biciclista]

Crankin, I didn't mean you shouldn't care about how you look. I just have seen so many well built lovely women on here griping about their imperfections. Then we get gals on here who are 100 lbs overweight; how must THEY feel?

[Kano]

Crankin, I didn't mean you shouldn't care about how you look. I just have seen so many well built lovely women on here griping about their imperfections. Then we get gals on here who are 100 lbs overweight; how must THEY feel?

The thing about being 15 pounds overweight this evening is that it's a slippery slope. ESPECIALLY if one has been 100 pounds overweight in the past. It really DOES require constant vigilance, because it creeps up way too easily and way too fast!

karen in Boise

[Biciclista]

why this evening?

[Tuckervill]

When I'm actively in weight-loss mode (started again Monday vacation! oy vey), I weigh every single day and I weigh all my food and I write it all down and I exercise every single day.

I do all that KNOWING that the scale fluctuates. I'm a big girl. I can take it. I just factor it in.

eta: My investment accounts, I have NO control over. I have complete and total control over what goes in my mouth and what I do with my body.

Karen

[channlluv]

Crankin, I didn't mean you shouldn't care about how you look. I just have seen so many well built lovely women on here griping about their imperfections. Then we get gals on here who are 100 lbs overweight; how must THEY feel?

Well, as one of the gals with 100 lbs to lose, I can only speak for myself. When I hear the uberfit complaining about their bellies or whatever, I just sort of shrug. It shows me that we all have body image issues. It sort of blows me away what some of my superfit friends say. Once I was at a dinner party with four friends and me - they're all thin, fit, active people. We were talking about pregnancy and they all have more than one child. I've got one miracle child and I've lost five. I just sort of stay quiet for conversations like that, when women start talking about how challenging it is to juggle more than one kid's schedule, all the work it is, and so on. I feel really blessed to have my daughter and we get to do an awful lot together that I'm sure would be more challenging if there were a younger sibling inthe picture, but oh, to have that opportunity. Anway, in the course of the conversation, one of the women said she got up to nearly 200 pounds when she was pregnant the second time, with her son, and she felt like a total cow. She's 5'11". She could carry 200 pretty easy, but she weighs about 130 now, runs, swims, black belt, etc. I just about sank through the floor, sitting there weighing around 250 at the time. I wanted to leave, but it would have been really conspicuous.

I just think sometimes really fit people forget how lucky they are (and maybe lucky is a bad word - it's a lot of work being that fit, I know), or maybe they figure they've worked themselves into this kind of enviable physical shape, why can't they conquer this last little flaw, whatever it is.

Another friend, also 5'10-11" and the wife of a professional athlete and she's got legs down to there and plays volleyball and looks like she just jumped out of a magazine ad most of the time, she's doing this triathlon I'm doing this weekend, too. They both are, actually, she my other tall friend (I have a lot of really tall, thin friends, go figure). She was trying to convince me to do the triathlon, too (I'd brought it up that I'd like to do it, but hadn't been able to find a wetsuit to do the swim portion - I can swim the distance, but it would take me over 45 minutes because I'm just not fast yet, and hypothermia is a real concern, so I hadn't committed to doing the race), and she said they'd all been talking about how I'm probably the strongest of all of us, with my 50-mile bike rides, and how it's unfair that I've had so much trouble finding a wetsuit to fit, but mentioned that she has, too, being so tall and thin.

It gave me a new perspective. As someone once told me when I was lamenting that woman in black who rides around my lake on my path looking all gorgeous and powerful and leaving me and my mtb in the dust, everyone has their own issues.

I'm just so grateful to be moving around under my own power at all. I don't need assistance for anything physical. I'm way overweight, yes, but there are people who are so much more challenged than I. I feel lucky to be able to go ride my bike and feel like an athlete, and to get in the pool and swim ten laps with little breaks here and there, but ten laps, and sometimes fifteen, under my own power.

I do weigh frequently - every other day or so - and it helps keep me focused on the goal. I don't freak if the scale moves up a pound or two. It's all relative. I've lost 15 pounds over the last month and hardly anyone has noticed. Really, it's all relative. I'm still very weeble-shaped. (reference the photos on my new used Ruby Comp off Craigslist thread)

And maybe when I'm down to 135 and struggling with the remnants of the belly roll, I'll be lamenting the same way the uberfit are now. Who knows.

Roxy

[GLC1968]

Roxy - thanks for your thoughtful post on the subject. Really. It's nice to see all perspectives.

rant/

I'm one of those who moans about my weight and my inability to lose it. In fact, in the past 4 years (since I added cycling to my list of favorite sports), I've done nothing but gain weight. Quite a bit of it (for a short person). But I've also posted pictures of myself and I know there are those that think they would be happy to have my body. First of all, those pictures are OLD and I don't look that way now. Secondly, like Roxy posted, we all have our issues. The blessing about TE is that we can come here and commiserate. I don't mention to all the guys I work with how it annoys me that the hills I use to love climbing now make my stomach turn because I'm so much heavier (and not that much stronger). I don't mention how I'm ravenous after a long ride and have a hard time controlling my intake to my mom. My girlfriends have no idea how many saddles or bike shorts or whatever I had to go through to find ones that fit that now no longer work quite right because I've gained weight... The only people who hear this are the women on TE.

While it's true that we don't want to beat ourselves up or waste our lives whining about the extra fat on our legs or our guts, it is important to recognize that when most of us complain about our desire to lose weight, we are doing it in the right context. We are doing it to other women with similar issues on a forum where weight and performance often go hand in hand. We aren't b1tching about not being able to wear a size 0 skinny jean or see our ribs in the mirror. We are all (almost exclusively) talking about dropping weight to improve performance.

Honestly, it's more than a bit off putting when women who likely have never really had a weight problem try to tell us that we all should just love ourselves for who we are. Honestly, I'm sure most of us do (in our own individual ways), but that doesn't mean that we can't want to make improvements and share those challenges and successes with others who will understand. Please don't take our need to discuss this stuff (small little pooches or hundreds of lbs) as a sign that we need to be told to get over ourselves or our hang ups. Please.

Thanks.
/end rant

[Veronica]

I just think sometimes really fit people forget how lucky they are (and maybe lucky is a bad word - it's a lot of work being that fit, I know),

I was talking to my trainer the other day about how I used to look at all the really fit people in the gym and think that they must find working out really easy. Now that I'm one of those really fit people, I can tell you, it doesn't get easier. If you're really serious, you keep pushing that envelope. Yeah, I can pump out lots of regular push ups, but how many can I do with 45 pounds on my back? It doesn't get easier. I come home sore, my muscles get tight, I get creaky if I sit too long...My hips hurt after a hard run or a tough spin session. I do lots of yoga and stretching in between workouts.

And yeah, I do lament that I still have a belly and that my genetics gave me large thighs. And then I take a big suck it up pill and continue working out, because I like it... most of the time.

Veronica

[shootingstar]

I just think sometimes really fit people forget how lucky they are (and maybe lucky is a bad word - it's a lot of work being that fit, I know).

Keep that thought for future, channelluv as you reach your desired weight. My family and long-term friends had not seen me for last 2.5 yrs. when I visited them just a month ago. I told some of them IF we did chat up about our health- I said that for me to look the "same", it now requires 3-4 x times more exercise/physical effort and additional diet changes to maintain the weight as one ages with slower metabolism, menopause, etc.

I'm just so grateful to be moving around under my own power at all. I don't need assistance for anything physical. I'm way overweight, yes, but there are people who are so much more challenged than I. I feel lucky to be able to go ride my bike and feel like an athlete, and to get in the pool and swim ten laps with little breaks here and there, but ten laps, and sometimes fifteen, under my own power.

You got that right...to be able to move around under your own power. The first competitive bike race that I saw, ...was a national wheelchair race by paraplegics. The Canadian national champ, Jeff Adams is on the international circuit. Their effort is truly inspiring and I would argue strongly even more than the TdF, since their physical effort in a wheelchair to move around is for life

And maybe when I'm down to 135 and struggling with the remnants of the belly roll, I'll be lamenting the same way the uberfit are now. Who knows.

Roxy

You are losing weight 'cause you think of the Ruby bike, the golden eagle.. great distractions of inspiration.

[Starfish]

channl, thank you for your vulnerable and honest post.

eta: and while I was responding, V & GLC added a lot of what else I was thinking! :-)