girl roles-playing princess, etc.

[Irulan]

late to the party.

I was forbidden Barbies and all that good stuff. The only good thing about the way my uber lefty parents raised me is that my brother was able to get CO status for the Vietman war because of thier anti war toy position.

Here's how I handled stuff with my boys. Yes, boys but there are still issues. I explained in terms they could understand WHY we didn't do certain things or allow certain toys at our house.

Example: we didn't buy/permit much Disney stuff. The reasons we ( both of us as parents ) gave 1. Disney repackaged someone else's stories - you explain this correctly and you can have great library adventures finding Milne, Hans Christen Anderson etc and 2. guys sitting around trying to figure out how many products they can market to parents and or kids. Kids GET this stuff.

Same thing with cartoon advertising and toys. If you explain it in kid terms, they easily grasp the concept that someone is just trying to make a buck off of cartoon tagged toothbrushes, underpants and other stuff. But you have to start early.

We did the math on Happy Meals, just how much you were paying for that crappy little toy.

My boy's hearts were broken when Lego sold out and started branding thier blocks with Pizza Hut and a few other things.

I think it's important to encourage imagination through dressups and fantasy play.. so instead of forbidding princess play, if I had daughters I'd find ways to make it creative and imaginative, and not just be reenactment of the latest Disney cartoon. I would spend a lot of time explaining WHY, in terms they could grasp, certain roles might be positive or negative, instead of just not allowing it. And then present the kind of imagination fodder that would be acceptable.

It's eerie now that my boys are pretty much grown, to see how the indoctrination I did about Disney TV cartoon toys and marketing has stayed with them into adult hood, and manifested into some fairly cool social responsibility.

[sfa]

I think with kids you get what you get and there's not a lot you can do to change that. Lots of stories of kids who seek out the things they want/are interested in even when their parents disapprove attest to that.

My DD is definitely NOT the daughter I imagined. While the whole Princess Lifestyle (tm) makes me ill, I loved traditional girl toys growing up--dolls and tea parties and pretend games (I also loved basketball and camping and seeing what I could mix up with my chemistry set, though). So with my DD I was looking forward to getting her baby dolls and playing dress up and having slumber parties with her friends.

Not happening. When someone gave her a Barbie doll, she undressed it, said "look, mommy, a doll with boobies" and then held it by the head and used it's sharp pointy feet as a sword. Then it went into a box and she never touched it again. She DOES play with the play food, but only to feed all of her stuffed animals. She's all about animals and really nothing else--and that's a completely foreign concept to me. I think I had two stuffed animals growing up and they just kinda sat around.

There's no point in trying to change her--she is who she is and likes what she likes, and I love her no matter what she likes. So the American Girl doll was a waste of $100 (it just kinda sits around). The Disney Princess she really likes is the kick-*** Mulan, but overall with Disney movies she'd rather watch Lady and the Tramp and Lion King. I don't think I've ever disapproved of anything she likes, but I have to admit to a few years of confusion as her personality and tastes emerged and I wondered where the heck this was coming from!

Sarah

[limewave]

There's no point in trying to change her--she is who she is and likes what she likes, and I love her no matter what she likes. So the American Girl doll was a waste of $100 (it just kinda sits around).

This is so true. DD (almost 4yo) keeps getting extravagant dolls from one aunt in particular. DD doesn't play with dolls. She has no interest in them. The in-laws ask me what she wants for presents and I always say: soccer or swim lessons, a camelbak (she keeps asking for one), flashcards . . . Then they look at me quizzically and say "I want to get her something SHE can use."

Didn't I just tell them?

But they continue to buy her dolls that sit at the bottom of her toy box. She likes to play sports. She likes to play "School" with her baby brother. I never see her playing with "toys" of any kind.