Thanks ladies for the advice and just listening. It's definitely my "drug" if you will as I battle depression and I think part of it is me fearing that if I don't have that release, I'll get depressed. And nothing is scarier to a person with a history of depression (now controlled) than the idea of being depressed again. I'm already on meds so the exercise is sort of supplement drug!

So that's part of it. Another part is just confusion about whether this doc is right for me. I really really liked her but I'm just not so sure, it didn't seem 100% like a fit and maybe that's because she's saying things that scare me (possible bedrest, it will likely go faster the second time, increasing my chance for a preemie). She also said things about "well, you may be able to go for a ride or ride the trainer but then need to rest for 2 hours, you may also need to rest for 2 hours during the day at work". Yikes. So she was essentially very leary of ANY physical activity. Even my other doc (in practice with my midwife I really like) who was horrified at cycling on pavement didn't say that. She just didn't like it for anyone, especially a pregnant woman but didn't differentiate between "high risk" pregnancy and regular pregnancy. Maybe I'll go back to my previous midwife and hope that the OB that I didn't like won't be on call when I deliver! I think for regular checkups I only see my midwife so would be fine. Ugggh. I think the upside to the midwife is they do ultrasounds in the office and not sure if the new ob does. They SAID they did but then she said she'd refer me to a perinatologist.

So I'm all sorts of confused. The one thing I'm not confused about is that I'm coming around to the idea of having #2. As I was in my race this weekend (mini tri) I came up a hill to two little ones yelling "go mommy go!" I realized I'd like 2 up there if possible so it will be okay.