Puzzling death circumstances in a family

[uforgot]

Regardless of how he died, his death is a loss for his family and friends. Maybe it would be best to send your condolences and be there for your friend if she needs an old buddy to talk to.

Exactly. I couldn't have said it better. It doesn't matter how he died, the loss is there. My father committed suicide, and I don't mind that people know about it, but if someone had come around and started asking questions about it, I would have thought that was just plain nosey. I'm sure people gossiped about it, but no one asked me intrusive questions and I appreciated that. Not that there is any sort of stigma, I never cared about how it "looked", but it's way more personal than what others think. I just didn't want to be reminded that maybe there was something I could have done or said, and I would have wondered one more time why I wasn't enough to stick around for. I didn't want to talk about it. With ANYONE for awhile. Asking the questions is not necessarily a comfort for the family. Does it really matter that much? It shouldn't. I would think you would just offer your condolences. Then, if they want to talk, about it, they will. 20 years later and it still hurts. Think about that before you worry about satisfying any curiosity. If you don't know, and they aren't forthcoming about it, leave it alone.