Wahine, your post is wonderful. I went through much the same with my marriage (together 17 years, married 13). I also am the one who left, for many reasons, but most of those reasons can be linked to communication issues. I, too, am happier now, but of course there is and always will be sadness at what could have been (but was not). Thanks.

Arielmoon, seeing a counselor really benefitted me, and I recommend it to anyone who will listen.