We disagree on things, and may have a heated discussion, but these are not usually about important things. The big stuff, well, I decided a long time ago that I needed to be with someone who was on the same page about the important things. I also think that as the years have gone on, my husband has become more like me in some things, mostly attitudes/values. Of course, I became like him, when I started cycling; not that we didn't get along before that, but because of cycling, we spend almost all of our free time together. Sometimes we are with others, as we do have an active social life, but not always. Before that, I was always going to the gym very early in the AM, before work, not to disrupt family time and he barely exercised until 1998.
MY DH is from a very dysfunctional family and I think he learned a lot about what he didn't want to be like from observing them, especially his father. When we were first married, he spent a lot of time with my parents and I think it was his first experience with non-judgmental people. It worked. I would never call him a jerk, because he never acts like one. If he ever does something I don't like, I just tell him and I try to be calm, because he spent too many years getting called a jerk, moron, a**hole, etc by his dad.
I judge the quality of our relationship by the way my adult sons treat their girlfriends. A very good barometer!