To the OP, do you have any idea what cadence you feel comfortable with? I agree in theory with your boyfriend. A higher cadence, say around 90 rpm, is generally better from an endurance standpoint. I disagree, however, that you necessarily have to be in the little ring of a compact crank to achieve that. I can easily do so in my big ring. Now, you may have to build up to that, but in time, you should be able to comfortably use a wider number of your available gears.
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
--Mary Anne Radmacher