Tuckerville, I'm sorry you and your DH had a fight. As for the IT band stuff, have you considered whether your crank is to blame? My Campy triple caused me to have IT band issues in my right leg. Its q-factor (a fancy name for its width), was too wide for me. I switched to a compact on my new bike and, voila, no IT band issues. Just a thought. It's a fit issue for a lot of women that I don't think gets much press.

Limewave, I am really sorry about what you're going through. It sounds like you and your husband have some signficant trust issues to work on. Have you considered couple's counseling?