13-year old girl wants to sail around the world...alone

[BikeDutchess]

I would just like to say that we're not talking about ANY of your real or hypothetical children.

True, but the OP did ask if we would let our daughters do it...

[Tuckervill]

Are they actually rich? I got the impression that the Netherlands girl has sponsors that are willing to pay for her trip... Since it's going to be a "record"
chances are, those sponsors won't be there when she's 18 or so... Personally, I think sponsorship of those records are irresponsible... after this girl or the australian 13 year old does it, is it okay for a special 11 year old with a specific set of skills who was destined to do it, to set off alone to sail around the world?

Is she actually destined to sail a boat around the world while she's 13 or is she just destined to sail a boat around the world at some point? I don't question that she knows how to sail, I just question why when she's 13?

I don't know if she's rich, but there must be some kind of affluence to live on a boat for 7 years.

Maybe their destiny is to make people talk about the issues inherent in the idea. I don't know. But I think they should proceed as the way opens, and not let anyone stand in their way if that's what they really want to do.

Karen

[papaver]

Sounds like she's abandoning her dutch citizenship in an attempt to get away from their authority:
http://trueslant.com/bartbrouwers/20...ail-the-world/

That to me is absolute proof that she really is in her puberty. She thinks she can get away with anything. The type of 'if mom doesn't say yes, I'll ask dad' syndrome...

[papaver]

As a New Zealander (the citizenship she is trying to get) I am really upset that she thinks our government and social agencies would be so stupid to allow her to do this.

The NZ government denied permission to a solo canoeist/kayaker who wanted to go around Antarctica on his own as the NZ government would have to pay to bail him out in a rescue mission if he departed from NZ shores.

It puts NZ in a bad light....

I wouldn't worry about that. It would be good for her to travel to NZ and than get a NO GO too.

And about all the gizmo's she has on board to get in touch with her parents... well sadly they have an OFF button.

So if the parents say: That's it. It's too dangerous, come home.
Our 'adult' teenager just has push the off button and do whatever she pleases. Every one with a teenager at home knows what I'm talking about.

She can be a heck of a good sailor, but don't tell me she already has the capability to assess people and danger for that matter. Kids take crazy risks all the time. They just don't see danger like we do.

[papaver]

Well after I have seen and heard a couple of interviews with that girl, I'm conviced. She really sounds like a 13-year old girl. She doesn't seem adult to me.

And an extra detail: her parents are divorced, the girl lives with her dad. Dad is very enthousiastic about the trip, mom doesn't want her to go at all. But she doesn't want to say no because she's afraid she will never see her daughter again.

[kenyonchris]

I would just like to say that we're not talking about ANY of your real or hypothetical children.

We're talking about a girl with a very specific set of skills, resources and experiences. She was born while her parents were spending 7 years sailing around the world together and living at sea. She has been asking to do it since she was 6 years old. I read up on it, and there is actually ANOTHER 13-year-old girl from Australia about to take off on her own voyage around the world.

These are not just any girls. They are unique, in unique circumstances (rich, maybe?). How could they NOT do what they were destined to do?

I always think it is interesting that a parent "lets" a child do something out of the ordinary that others always think that it hasn't been thought through or researched, etc. Do you think they haven't thought about pirates? Schooling? Repairing the boat?

I certainly wouldn't want to be the one who stood in their way, on some totally assuagable and compensable fear.

Karen

I am totally, totally against this line of reasoning. There is supporting your children, letting them spread their wings and fly, and providing a safety net of guidance, support, shelter, and knowledge to help keep them safe until they have enough life experiences to go it alone and deal with the problems thrown at them. A 13 year old has simply not been on this earth long enough to go it alone ON THE SEA, alone, for two years. It doesn't matter how extraordinary the circumstances behind their upbringing. For these kids, their skills alone are extraordinary, so hone them, give them guided experience, allow them to do the incredible things they do within their scope and experience within reason.
The risk to reward ratio is wrong here. An error, a mistake, an accident is far, far amplified to what it would be where help was more readily accessible. Again, training for such a feat is one thing. I can see someone going with her, alongside her, ready to step in should conditions or circumstance warrant and letting her do it on her own otherwise.

[indigoiis]

I would have a problem letting my 16 year old daughter go away for two years. Mostly because I would miss her. She's going to be going away for college anyway, so I want to spend whatever time I can get with her now.

[Biciclista]

After hearing about the broken marriage, this sounds like the ultimate in your face from the father to the mother;
"I'll take her away from you for two years - and you won't dare to say a word because you don't want to lose her"
classic tearing the kid up to get back at your spouse kind of behavior.

[Grits]

Besides the obvious danger involved, I think the isolation for one to two years is a huge reason not to allow this. Not many of us, and certainly not a thirteen year old, have any concept of what being alone for that amount of time would be like. Sure, there will be some type of communication devices, which can easily not work for periods of time, between her and her dad, but
at age 13 she needs interaction with peers, other adults, the world.

This sounds like a goal of the dad's which the daughter has bought into to please him. I'm sure he is counting on a book, movie deal, and all the money that will come from the publicity he can squeeze out of exploiting his daughter.

Would we allow a thirteen year old to live alone in a tent on a mountainside for a year or two if he or she is a really good camper and really, really wants to do it? Would we even allow a mature thirteen year old to live alone in an apartment or house for a year or two? No. It is not healthy. This is a time when young teenagers are developing socially (as well as physically, mentally and emotionally). Being alone in the middle of the ocean is not conducive to the development of a healthy teenager.

[Voodoo Sally]

my daughter (currently just 10) seems to have the judgment and planning skills of a, um, a thing with no judgment or planning skills. I was going to say "squirrel" but realized that they have pretty good planning skills.

LMAO.

[Cataboo]

Would we allow a thirteen year old to live alone in a tent on a mountainside for a year or two if he or she is a really good camper and really, really wants to do it?

But what if she was born during her parents 7 year camping trip? And spent the first 4 years of her life camping?

And ever since she was 10, all she's talked about is camping alone for a year or two.

And she's camped alone already for a month or two before.

Then she would have developed a very specific set of skills, and then it would be her destiny to camp alone.


What do you do if you fulfill your destiny by the time you're 15? that's a lot of years after that to live without a destiny.

[Grits]

But what if she was born during her parents 7 year camping trip? And spent the first 4 years of her life camping?

And ever since she was 10, all she's talked about is camping alone for a year or two.

And she's camped alone already for a month or two before.

Then she would have developed a very specific set of skills, and then it would be her destiny to camp alone.


What do you do if you fulfill your destiny by the time you're 15? that's a lot of years after that to live without a destiny.

It is quite a long way to go from camping or sailing or whatever for a month or two to a year or two.

I don't care if she was born while her parents were sailing for seven years. So what? My kids were born while I was living in a house - and for longer than seven years. They have developed the skill set to live in a house. That doesn't mean they can live in a house alone for one or two years or even one or two months! DSS would be called in a rightfully so. Thirteen year olds are not ready to live alone for extended periods of time. I don't care what their skill sets are. We are talking emotional and mental maturity.

If she has talked about this since the age of 10, I strongly suspect it is because her father has encouraged it. This isn't the kind of idea that a ten year old would come up with on her own. She can fulfill her "destiny," if that is what it is, in a few years when she knows her own mind and is not so heavily influenced by the adults in her life. Thank goodness the government is stepping in to protect her when the people who should are not, although I will not be surprised at all if they find a way to do it regardless.

[Cataboo]

I'm not sure if the gov't has any recourse if she just sets sail and is then in international waters, but I have no idea.

It really won't be 2 years alone, since she will have to stop in to ports, and they seem to have mapped out family friends and relatives for her to visit along the way. I'm assuming that her parents will be flying around to meet her in port every so often

[Grits]

I was wondering is she really going to be alone on the ocean? Would there be another boat going along with her? I would hate for them to lose out on the opportunity to film everything for the documentary they will be selling.

[salsabike]

I am totally, totally against this line of reasoning. There is supporting your children, letting them spread their wings and fly, and providing a safety net of guidance, support, shelter, and knowledge to help keep them safe until they have enough life experiences to go it alone and deal with the problems thrown at them. A 13 year old has simply not been on this earth long enough to go it alone ON THE SEA, alone, for two years. It doesn't matter how extraordinary the circumstances behind their upbringing. For these kids, their skills alone are extraordinary, so hone them, give them guided experience, allow them to do the incredible things they do within their scope and experience within reason.
The risk to reward ratio is wrong here. An error, a mistake, an accident is far, far amplified to what it would be where help was more readily accessible. Again, training for such a feat is one thing. I can see someone going with her, alongside her, ready to step in should conditions or circumstance warrant and letting her do it on her own otherwise.

Exactly. Technical skills do not take the place of experience, maturity and judgment.