I think having your husband pick you up at the busy part is a great idea. Do what you can do happily. If it stresses you out, what benefit are you really getting? None. Leave that section out. It's not worth it.

I only commute during DST. I work near a university, and I don't feel safe on some of the roads I ride on once it's dark, with rush hour student traffic. Still, I manage to ride just as much in the winter as I do in summer. I just ride more on my off days.