Mental hurdles after a bike/car wreck

[LaFemmeFlora]

I would love to hear suggestions any of you might have for getting myself more ready for the commute. How to get over the mental aspect of it, and even making myself more visible in traffic...making a presence at the stoplights so that folks aren't cutting me off or honking crazily at me for being slow. I would appreciate anything you can offer.

For a little background to me as a rider:
Growing up, from the time I learned to ride I was always on or with my junky boys bike. I rode rugged and ballsy through the rollers in my neighborhood with no fear of injury from cars or concrete...and sadly that changed one beautiful August day in 2004.
I became quite aware that not all drivers are watching out for cyclists and that I grew up in a rural bedroom community, safe from cityslicker fastpaced mentality. On the day in question, I was out planning my new commute to work, when on my leisurly ride back home I was struck by a car pulling out from his street onto the main road I was on. I rolled up the hood of his little Honda Civic, remaining completely attached to my brand new hybrid bike. I probably would have been fine if I weren't clipped in...my ankle was impacted on both sides by bumper and pedal arm. I put up with a lot of pain and swelling, and finally 2 yrs later I was able to actually jog again.
I have since worked with a handful of people who have tried to encourage me to get back on the bike, and I will but only if I was riding with them. I have learned quite a bit from them about riding in traffic or with a group...but still cannot get out in traffic alone yet. I even traded in my hybrid for a used road bike...and replaced the old shifters on it by myself. I just cannot seem to get her out on the road.

Another perfect opportunity to ride to work has presented itself and I would be stupid to not take advantage of it. My office is moving and I will only be 6 miles from home...all down hill on the way in. I am really looking forward to this commute...it's far too perfect to not do, except for one thing...the best routes are the busiest streets in town. There are at least half a dozen major stop lights to negotiate...or on a different route about half a dozen traffic circles. Choosing the lesser of two evils I think I am going to go with the traffic lights. I would be doing this commute at 7 am and then home at 5 pm when everyone is on a mad rush!