My friend rides faster and Dh got the frame I wanted ... Boo hoo for me!!!

[redrhodie]

((((jiffer)))).

I know you're feeling bad, but here's what I think you need to remember about the climbing....where did Mark Cavendish finish on Mont Ventoux? What, you don't remember? I don't remember, either. That's because he is sooooo far back on every climb that they never even show him.

So, maybe you're a sprinter.

[jobob]

get a coach so you can improve faster than your friend.

[redrhodie]

I still can't think of how I feel about your DH getting the new bike. You're obviously bothered by it, so it's an issue you need to deal with.

I would first ask myself if it's really worth adding strife to my relationship. Most likely, being mad and jealous wouldn't be worth it to me, and I'd let it go (then buy myself the bike I want!--who am I kidding! ).

Is there any way you can get the frame you want?

[Trek420]

((((Jiffer)))) Have her tested. The rapid unexplainable performance gain sounds suspicious.

But seriously do what jobob said. Get and keep on a training program. Cycling is a multi-year sport of off season recovery, early season base miles, working towards a goal, then repeat. Keep training and ride your rides.

There's nothing quite like the feeling of dusting a rider who's supposedly on a "better" bike.

[Cataboo]

Jiffer, just concentrate on your riding & training... I wouldn't compare yourself to your friends - especially from the point of view of weight loss. Did she suddenly lose 10 lbs before she considerably improved recently? I doubt it - so I wouldn't make weight loss your goal for riding better - on your bike or you. Train more, do intervals, and the weight loss will probably come on its own.

As for your husband's bike, I'd be pretty furious if this is going to put you guys furhter into financial hardship, but I couldn't quite tell if you guys are a couple that keeps your money separate, and that you're having some issues, and he's not or if you're jointly having issues.

[Aggie_Ama]

((Hugs)) It feels stupid to be jealous of such things but I am one who will be so you are not alone.

I think finding a training program may give you the push or maybe you just aren't a climber. I find a lot of my frustration mountain biking because I am not a good climber, then I realize I can descend but others walk because they are scared. Find your niche and you will feel better.

About your husband, we share finances so I would be livid if such a frame showed up. I really think you shouldn't bottle that frustration but I am guessing you have or will discuss it with your husband.

And I admit I was pretty dang happy when I was able to get a mountain bike slightly better than DH's because my roadie component group is not as good. Our frames are comparable but I wanted a triple and got 105 he has Dura Ace. My mountain bike has the same gruppo but is lighter and has carbon seat stays, therefore DH declared it "better". Trivial but I sure was happy.

[Owlie]

(((jiffer)))

I haven't experienced it with cycling, but something similar happened to me with fencing. One of my guy friends (who started three years after I did!) suddenly got a heck of a lot better. He beat me consistently, and by rather large margins. I was frustrated. It eventually started impacting my fencing as well. Don't let that happen to you. Like everyone said, concentrate on your riding.

As for the frame...BF and I separate expenses (well, ours are groceries at this point) but I'd still be annoyed if he showed up with a new frame.

[Jiffer]

Thanks everyone. As for the new frame, Dh left early this morning for a big ride and left me a voicemail. He felt really bad and apologized. He hadn't even thought of it the way I did. His view was that his frame was damaged, this was an insane deal on something comparable or better, so there really wasn't much to think about. Yet I pointed out that it was the best choice IF he got something at the same level of frame he had, but it wasn't his only choice. There are plenty of less quality frames and even similar quality used frames. He flat out hadn't even considered it. My question now is, is he willing to take the frame back and get a different one ... if they'll let him now that he rode on it today. And will I try to make him? This is especially difficult for him because he is in a whole other world of cycling. He climbs like nobodies business, has worked hard to get to the level he's at and, in his mind, this is simply the frame for him to help him keep up with his training and reach his big goals. He's not used to being tied to silly things like not really having the money to pay for it. He rationalized that it's paid for by money we forgot we were owed, yet that money could have paid for a whole lot of other things.

As for me improving on climbs, yeah I know I may never be the best climber. It doesn't come naturally like it does for some. I can descend like crazy and go hard on the flats, so I make up for it as best I can in those areas. But I do know that the lighter you are, the less weight you have to carry up a hill and it makes a huge difference. Dh just told me about a guy we did a big climb with a while back. He lost 20 lbs and he's a totally different climber now. I also know that I have a hard time losing weight AND training, so when I'm in serious weight loss mode, cycling has to be secondary. Just today I went on a club ride, but knew I didn't have it in me to do the big climb that was coming, so I shortened my climbing and came home alone at a super easy pace. And I'm okay with this because I know I lost 3 pounds this week and, in the long run, that will pay off in my cycling.

I do intend to do more interval training, hill repeats specifically... withOUT my friend! But I'll just have to see how I'm feeling on the days I have available to do that, which would be days I'm not riding with her. If not now, once I've lost the weight, I can really focus on the training again. It's good to have a break anyway, so that's the way I'm looking at it.

Thanks again for all your encouragement.