biking partners

**deedolce** · 08-15-2009, 07:45 PM

I LOVE sharing the bike with a guy. Seeing new places, new experiences. Finding romantic places to dine, shared memories and adventure. It sounds like guy #2 is one that's open to a more complete relationship with you, if that's what you want! I've dated someone like #1. I was just 'filling time' for him. I'm sure he says exactly what he means. He knows you deserve to be happy, and he must know he can't be that for you. Just my thoughts...

**Tri Girl** · 08-15-2009, 07:58 PM

I think you owe it to yourself to get to know guy #2. If you're OK being in a relationship with someone who you know may not be going anywhere, then stay there. If you want more, you deserve to get everything you want and be totally happy.
What is your heart telling you to do?

**kenyonchris** · 08-16-2009, 05:52 AM

I made myself sick over this last night. I felt horrible that I was going out with guy #2. And he is a nice, sweet guy. Kind of a dork, as opposed to guy #1s total coolness in all situations. I just don't want to hurt guy #1. I had thought I would be OK with just what he could give me, no more. But I don't know that that's right.
Sigh. I got about 3 hours sleep last night.

**buddha_bellies** · 08-16-2009, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by kenyonchris

I made myself sick over this last night. I felt horrible that I was going out with guy #2. And he is a nice, sweet guy. Kind of a dork, as opposed to guy #1s total coolness in all situations. I just don't want to hurt guy #1. I had thought I would be OK with just what he could give me, no more. But I don't know that that's right.
Sigh. I got about 3 hours sleep last night.

But I don't think you're hurting guy #1. He's been brutually honest with you. It is what it is. It's very black and white to me with that guy and what he's saying. There's no hidden message behind it. I know. I've been through this too. If you feel something is bothering you with him, trust your feeling.

I don't think you're hurting guy #1 at all. You're honest with him. He just want to hang out once a week. So why do you think you're hurting him?

Give #2 a chance. When you're with him, just have fun. Enjoy your time with him. It will be healthy for you to see what else is out there.

Good luck!

**Zen** · 08-16-2009, 10:13 AM

Listen to Knott.
Knott is wise.

I'm having that printed on a tee shirt.

**Ann G** · 08-16-2009, 12:43 PM

I'm with the rest on this. It seems that you want more from a relationship than guy #1 is willing to give. Seeing guy #2 is not cheating on guy #1. Give guy #2 a chance, and try that kiss assessment idea.

**Mr. Bloom** · 08-16-2009, 02:27 PM

Don't place a loyalty standard on yourself that is greater than the one being offered by Guy #1. He's not seeking anything else, so you're meeting a convenient need. By the same token, don't get yourself in an unfulfilling lapdog relationship with Guy #2...that could be equally unsatisfying.

I guess you really have to ask yourself whether you would be happy if the status quo with #1 was maintained for another 5 years? 10 years? Is this what you want or will you be feeling that your commitment is a bit unrequited by then?

I agree with everything Knott said (except the kiss)

**kenyonchris** · 08-16-2009, 05:03 PM

You guys are great. I had a serious talk with guy #1 today, he was honestly upset that I would miss out on something fun because of him, and I get the feeling he is backing off because he wants me to get out there. He is really a great, great guy who has had bad relationships. I guess I am going to read the writing on the wall, no matter how much I would like it to say something else.
It makes me sad, I adore him.

Guy #2 is very attentive (almost too attentive). But I am keeping it as low key and slow as possible so that I can really get a feel for it, and I don't have any desire to jump from one serious relationship to another.

THANK YOU to everyone who has chimed or will chime in. This is really hard, and you guys make it better.

**redrhodie** · 08-16-2009, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by kenyonchris

I made myself sick over this last night. I felt horrible that I was going out with guy #2. And he is a nice, sweet guy. Kind of a dork, as opposed to guy #1s total coolness in all situations. I just don't want to hurt guy #1. I had thought I would be OK with just what he could give me, no more. But I don't know that that's right.
Sigh. I got about 3 hours sleep last night.

Hmmm, now I don't think either of them is the right guy for you. You lost me with #2 on "dork". I was okay with "nerd" but am not okay with "dork".

Thread: biking partners

Thread Tools

Display

Hybrid View

Ditto

Posting Permissions