I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I can relate completely. I just lost my grandmother in July while I was finishing and handing in my final paper for my MA. Just as I was getting into bed, just right now, before I read this post, I was thinking about how I felt ok but I felt like something was missing. I think, for me, I haven't really been able to deal with her loss.

I didn't really want to do much after my gramma died but I used all of the things I had to do to keep me going. I'm training for the Toronto breast cancer walk and I absolutely had to get the training in. I didn't want to but once I was out there that time gave me some clarity and peace. Like Mr. Silver said, maybe if you got on for a bit, you might feel like doing it again.

Be kind to yourself, grief is a strange response. It's so individual and doesn't really follow rules--let yourself grieve your way. I hope you can find some peace and eventually feel like riding again.