My condolences to you on the loss of your nanny.

When my brother died this year, I did the opposite to you - got on the bike and hammered, as hard as I could. Took out all of my frustrations, anger, etc on the bike. And it hurt me. I beat myself up, which wasn't good either.

Like you, the depression came in and I didn't feel like doing anything. Months later (my brother died in mid-May), I still feel that way a lot, but it is getting better. My point is that you need to do what you FEEL like doing. If you feel like riding, do it. If you don't, don't. It is really important to take care of yourself right now - do what makes you feel good.

Hugs to you.

SheFly