Life's Curveballs (Bike and Not Bike Related)

[SheFly]

My condolences to you on the loss of your nanny.

When my brother died this year, I did the opposite to you - got on the bike and hammered, as hard as I could. Took out all of my frustrations, anger, etc on the bike. And it hurt me. I beat myself up, which wasn't good either.

Like you, the depression came in and I didn't feel like doing anything. Months later (my brother died in mid-May), I still feel that way a lot, but it is getting better. My point is that you need to do what you FEEL like doing. If you feel like riding, do it. If you don't, don't. It is really important to take care of yourself right now - do what makes you feel good.

Hugs to you.

SheFly

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Amanda)))))))

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Take care of yourself. Give yourself space to grieve. Take enough quiet time that you can understand what it is you need to do (ride or not, work or not, be alone or with other people). As everyone else has said, it'll all be there for you whenever you're ready.

[tulip]

Aggie--hugs to you and your family. Alzheimers is such a terrible illness.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but your Nanny is not your Mawmaw, right? Your Mawmaw is feisty and independent and still going pretty strong? Just trying to keep them straight--I don't have any grandmothers left, so I borrow them from time to time when I need a little guidance.

[Norse]

I just lost my dad to f***ing cancer. Before and during this time I have been dealing with huge work-related stress due to layoffs in our group and the added work I have had to shoulder. The whole process has been mentally/emotionally exhausting. Although I sometimes don't feel like getting on the bike, it has been very therapeutic when I can. I need to bike. You need to do whatever helps you cope with life's big curveballs. I wish you well.

[Aggie_Ama]

Tulip- Yes, I was very fortunate to have 28.5 years with both my Grandmas. My Mammaw is 91 and feisty, a bit nutty, wise. My Nanny was a career woman, when I was growing up I thought she was so beautiful and graceful. She was put together, always had nice work clothes and a high level position for a woman in the 1980's. I am glad Nanny only had a year of the alzheimers really tangling her mind, fortunately her body gave out before her mind really did. I am glad I wrote a beautiful obituary that her son (my dad) loved. I am glad she was very with it last Wednesday and she was able to talk to me and the last thing she said before getting worse that night to me was "I love you" and I said the same. In years to come I know that will mean even more to me.

I always struggle with what I feel I should do and what I should do. Yesterday I went to ride and ended up crying amongst the pine needles. I wasn't ready to face my grief, still trying. I know it takes time but you always think when it is yourself there is a special clause like it shouldn't be as bad. I would tell anyone else to cut themselves some slack but I don't follow my own words!