Totally off topic - but I'm pleased...

[RoadRaven]

Irulan, I love the way you value self-esteem and family...

Everyone is a winner attitude disgusts us and our kids. It does a disservice to those who actually DO work hard.

Absolutely agree... what is the point of a competition if no-one wins... and what do kids want? To know who is "the best"... absolutely congratulate and acknowledge the efforts others made, but ultimately most countries/cultures in our world operate on a "winner" mentality. And that is what inspires us and motivates us.

We spend a lot of time together as a family.

This is vital, how do children learn to be part of a family if the family just "being" together is not valued?

No TV in rooms, but the geek child did build three computers for himself and his brother, and networked the house.

Shock, horror... we have only one TV in the house and seven of us live here... this, despite the increasing "Americanisation" of our families because we do tend to buy alot of TV from the US and lots of those TV families have TVs and computers and playstations/x-box in their rooms. Maybe in my kid's friends rooms... not in this house.

Lots of down time at our house. We do not beleive in overscheduling.

I see this so much, having worked in pre-school, and now a teacher of teachers, I have seen too much of this. Children who arrive at preschool with a hash brown and bagel from MaccyDees in hand because the house has to get kids to school, kids to preschool, and parents to work... Children who spend 7-8 hours at child care then have to do baby gym, preschool music or any number of extra curricular activities at the end of the day... Children who have more extra-curricular activities at weekends, and have babysitters or nannies because the parents want "time to themselves"...
I applaud you Irulan for taking and relishing the challenge of being a parent, and knowing that you do not have to fill every second of your childrens lives with "stuff" and for valuing just being together, reading books, talking...

We disclipline our kids just fine, thank you very much. It's too bad more parents don't.

What we have seen from kids that aren't disciplined (and I don't mean using tyre irons!) is kids who are rude, disrespectful and arrogant when we go on school trips or camps... kids who have never learned to listen... or should that be, kids who have been taught to ignore...
Example...
Mum, can I?
No you can't...
But mum, can I...
Mum says firmly "No"
But Mum...
No!
Mum, please...
Look... (Mum goes into loooong explaination about why not)
But mum....
Ah....
Mum, please can I?
Umm...
Please please please
Oh, ok, just this once...

Boredom is the mother of creativity.

LOL, Irulan... my kids know that "I'm bored"... or "There's nothing to do..." will get a quick response with a list of things to "unbore" them... dishes, tidy room, clear deck, windows... they hardly ever bother with saying that to me, they know I will find them something to do that they may not want...

I have 5 children, aged 10-17... 4 boys and a girl, and they are great kids and I love spending time with them...