Ok, so i decided to go. I figured the flu doesnt feel so bad anymore, and If i don't go i will just stay in this 'work sucks all my life is work and its making me turn into a fat lump' runt which I am obviously in.

about the other issue shootingstar,

I think I'm seeing it in at least 2 other ongoing threads, this lack of inspiration/motivation to ride.

I am not saying that I know my entire country well, in fact, i know only a small fraction of the roads. The problem is, all the roads are so damn busy. There is never a nice quiet place to ride. and sometimes, after work, u're exhausted and tired and brain dead, the last thing u want to do is to go battle traffic. or even stay alert on the semi-quiet roads, where the drivers think that having less cars around is reason to be less careful. riding here is stressful i guess.

as for why i ride, to destress, to exercise, i like feeling the wind in my face, the acid in my muscles, the sweat and grit on my skin makes me feel alive.

6 weeks into my highly stressful new job, it was kinda getting to me i think. I just need to get disciplined again.

thanks for helping me sound all this out. I think actually typing out why i wanna ride helped significantly in the refocusing.