oh wow! thanks for all your replies! i'm feeling sooo much better now!!

I heard back from IF... i LOVE them!!! i also talked to the owner of the shop, and he was very apologetic and very nice. i went in in person, which helped, i think (rather than called on the phone). i think i'll have to make the effort to do that from now on if i want to get my point accross. but i spent a good two hours in there today discussing bike details. it helped also that it was a slow day.

re: shop selection. they're the only shop that carries IF in my area (and i really have my heart set on IF), and they are giving me a nice discount since they're our sponsor. i was afraid that if i backed out, it would sour the relationship with the team.

but... when i was in today, i got the chance to talk to the engineer that designed my future bike on the phone. he was WONDERFUL (Matt at IF, you rock!) and explained all of the logic behind certain sizing choices. IF certainly listened to my qualms, although with the shop owner took some beating over the head.

and IF understood my color agony. i opted for solid metallic black (black diamond, i think it's called) with silver straight-edge decaling. understated, but i think i'm going with either red or pink CK headset and hubs, for some pizazz

it's going to be a steel CJ, with carbon fork. i'm aiming for as much campy as i can afford, but will probably go with some compatible alternatives (like FSA or something).

i also talked with some more teammates, who agreed that this shop owner was nice--- when you caught him on a good day (or threatened to take away his $4000 sale, which i did!). it's a small family-owned shop, and gets really really hectic. i get really sick of hearing how busy he is, which is the biggest thing that irkes me.

but all is well... i'm extremely psyched about my bike, and feel so much better after talking to the owner and the people at IF. and thank you all for your feedback! i feel much better knowing that i was right to complain