Tales from the LBS.... When the day starts like this you KNOW your in trouble..

[crazycanuck]

Denise, have you been to www.notalwaysright.com ??? I really do feel sorry for anyone in retail. CUstomers

I promise you I would never treat the folks at our fave shops that way! I may not be the most technically minded when it comes to bike components but I do my best....


Thank you though for giving it your best

[lph]

My own favourite story of BSOs (Bike Shaped Objects aka Walmart bikes), which I've told here before, bear with me ;-), is of our neighbour who came by with a childs bike that "didn't work", and asked if I could possibly take a look. Both wheels were flat, of course, but the humdinger was that the gear cables and housing hadn't been cut to fit, were of course way too long so had been wrapped around the frame, making it impossible to use the gears...

[OakLeaf]

Sorry you had to go through that D. but thanks for keeping your sense of humor.

Here's hoping that was your share of 'em for a while. (Forever is too much to hope for I know. )

[ridebikeme]

Ohhh typical tales from the shop... I've always said that it would be fun to write a book with stories like this. It would be fun to read when I'm older and need a good laugh. At any rate, I try to remind myself that if I wasn't lucky enough to STILL be in business, then I would miss out on all these stories.

If Autozone has the valve extenders that you might need on the wallyworld bikes, then I would have a few in stock. Not only does it appear to the customer that you have everything they need, but also would be helpful in explaining the whole situation. The fewer stops that a customer has to make, the more likely they are to return to your shop, and in the end it puts more $ in the cash register.

[Ana]

Regarding your comment about generational differences: I have noticed a prominent trend in people around my age (early 20's) and younger which includes a few attitudes: entitlement, online bargain hunting and economical misunderstanding. I am not attributing these characteristics to all people in that age group but enough to notice a trend.

Most of the entitlement attitude I experience comes from upper middle class or upper class families who have been given almost anything they want by their baby boomer parents. I am not against parents providing things for their children. On the contrary, I believe it is necessary for parents to provide certain things to children. However, if those things are simply given to them without any requirements to restrictions (i.e. earning it), then those things do not hold any positive personal reflection to the child. The outcome can be that they lack ambition and determination because they believe they deserve whatever it is they want and that they should not have to work for it.

Online bargain hunting is rather customary for people my age. The problem arises when they use local shops, like yours, to find a product they would like to find online more inexpensively. Which is a segway into the economical misunderstanding, combined with their egocentric entitlement. To the best of my ability, I can only imagine they believe that they deserve things they want at the lowest possible price which is somewhat counter intuitive because they are devaluing their own desires, in a way, by refusing to pay a penny more than they can find it for. What they fail to understand is that they are, especially in the case of bicycles, purchasing a bicycle for the quality of service and knowledge you have to offer (i.e. you and your staff), and that it is to their benefit to put money back into their local economy. If the lawnmower place is your biggest competition, I highly suspect that if people in or near your town purchase these eBay bikes, they will have to come into your shop to get them tuned, repaired, upgraded, etc.

I am very sorry to hear about your ordeal. Maybe it was just one of those tough days....we all have them They can be quite trying... I never expect the "cavemen" type people to disappear....I encounter them much more frequently than I care to.

I realize the value of having a LBS and support them when I can

[papaver]

LBS's here even refuse to work on 'bikes' that are bought in Wall Mart type of stores. People buy junk and expect the people at the LBS's to turn them into state of the art bikes... for no money at all. And when they can't they are perceived as being the morons.

[Duck on Wheels]

Great stories! Sad and frustrating, but still very funny.
Maybe you could write a book and market them ... all anonymized, of course, to protect the innocent (double entendre intended: the clueless customers and the blameless LBS).

[colby]

Wow. What a day!!!

I have experienced The Caveman in my line of work (IT and software), too, and I also get it because of my age. I told my boss last week in a fit of frustration that "there's a certain age where people just assume you know what you're doing rather than making you prove it... I'm not there yet." Unfortunately with gender, you NEVER get there, and some guys are really big jerks.

Way to hang in there!!!!!!!

[Irulan]

JRA = Just Riding Along

sounds like chapter two of this class CL rant,
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best...192150038.html


Whoo-hoo Seattle, the sun is out! Let's discuss a few things before you fumble with swapping the unused ski rack for the unused bike rack on the Subaru.

So yes, you've noticed the sun is out, and hey!- maybe it would be cool to to some bike riding. Let's keep in mind that the sun came out of all 600,000 of us, so for the most part, you're not the only one who noticed. Please remember that when you walk into my shop on a bright, sunny Saturday morning. It will save you from looking like a complete twat that huffs "Why are there so many people here?"

Are we all on the same page now about it being sunny outside? Have we all figured out that we're not the only clever people that feel sunny days are good for bike riding? Great. I want to kiss all of you on your forehead for sharing this moment with me. Put your vitamin D starved fingers in mine, and we'll move on together to some pointers that will make life easier.

SOME POINTERS FOR THE PHONE:

- I don't know what size of bike you need. The only thing that I can tell over the phone is that you sound fat. I don't care how tall you are. I don't care how long your inseam is. Don't complain to me that you don't want to come ALL THE WAY down to the bike shop to get fitted for a bike. I have two hundred bikes in my inventory. I will find one that fits you. Whether you come from the north or the south, my shop is downhill. Pretend you're going to smell a fart, ball up, and roll your fat *** down here.

- Don't get high and call me. Write it down, call me later. When I have four phone lines ringing, and a herdlet
of people waiting for help, I can't deal with you sitting there "uuuuhhh"-ing and "uuummm"-ing while your brain tries to put together some cheeto-xbox-fixie conundrum. We didn't get disconnected, I left you on hold to figure your **** out.

-I really do need to see your bike to know what is wrong with it. You've already figured out that when you car makes a noise, the mechanic needs to see it. When your TV goes blank, a technician needs to see it. I can tell you, if there is one thing I've learned from you ****ing squirrels, it's that "doesn't shift right" means your bike could need a slight cable adjustment, or you might just need to stop backing into it with the Subaru. Bring it in, I'll let you know for sure.

- No, I don't know how much a good bike costs. For some, spending $500 dollars is a kingly sum. For others, $500 won't buy you one good wheel. You really need to have an idea of what you want, because every one of you raccoons "doesn't want to spend too much".

FOR YOU INVENTIVE TYPES AND DO-IT-YOURSELFERS:

- Just because you think is should exist, doesn't mean that it does. I know that to you, a 14 inch quill stem makes perfect sense, but what makes more sense is buying a bike that fits you, not trying to make your mountain bike that was too small for you to begin with into a comfort bike.

- If some twat on some message board somewhere says that you can use the lockring from your bottom bracket as a lockring for a fixie conversion doesn't mean that A: you can, or B: you should. Please listen to me on this stuff, I really do have your best interests at heart.

- I love that you have the enthusiasm to build yourself a recumbent in the off season. That does not mean however, that I share your enthusiasm; ergo I won't do the "final tweaks" for you. You figure out why that Sram shifter and that Shimano rear derailleur don't work together. While we're at it, you recumbent people scare me a little. Don't bring that lumbering ****ing thing anywhere near me.

A DEDICATION TO ALL THE HIPSTER DUCHEBAGS:

-If you shitheads had any money, you wouldn't NEED a vintage Poo-zhow to get laid. Go have an ironic mustache growing contest in front of American Apparel, so that I can continue selling $300 bikes to fatties, which is what keeps the lights on.

- Being made in the 80's may make something cool, but that doesn't automatically make something good. The reason that no one has ridden that "vintage" Murray is because it's ****. It was **** in the 80's, a trend it carried proudly through the 90's, and rallied with into the '00's. What I mean to say is, no, I can't make it work better. It's still ****, even with more air in the tires.

SO YOU'RE GONNA BUY A BIKE:

Good for you! Biking is awesome. It's easy, it's fun, it's good for you. I want you to bike, I really do. To that end, I am here to help you.

-Your co-worker that's "really into biking" knows **** all. Stop asking for his advice. He could care less about you having the right bike. He wants to validate his bike purchase(s) through you. He also wants to sleep with you, and wear matching bike shorts with you.

- You're not a triathlete. You're not. If you were, you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.

- You're not a racer. If you were, I'd know you already, and you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.

- So you want a bike that you can ride to work, goes really fast, is good for that triathlon you're doing this summer (snicker), is good on trails and mud, and costs less than $300. Yeah. Listen, I want a car that can go 200 miles an hour, tow a boat, has room for five adults, is easy to parallel park but can carry plywood, gets 60mpg, and only costs $3,000. I also want a unicorn to blow me. What are we even talking about here? Oh yeah. Listen, bikes can be fast, light, cheap and comfortable. Pick two, and we're all good.

ABOUT YOUR KIDS:

Your kids are amazing. Sure are. No one else has kids as smart, able, funny or as good looking as you. Nope. Never see THAT around here.

- I have no idea how long you kid will be able to use this bike. As it seems to me, your precious is a little retarded, and can't even use the damn thing now. More likely, your budding genius is going to leave the bike in the driveway where you will Subaru the bike to death LONG before the nose picker outgrows the bike.

- Stop being so jumpy. I am not a molester. You people REALLY watch too much TV. When I hold the back of the bike while your kid is on it, it's not because I get a thrill from *almost* having my hand on kid butt, it's because kids are unpredictable, and generally take off whenever possible, usually not in the direction you think they might go. Listen, if I were going to do anything bad to your kids, I'd feed them to sharks, because sharks are ****ING AWESOME.


I hope this helps, and have fun this summer riding your kick-*** bike!

[kenyonchris]

Yeah. Welcome to my world. I deal with Cavemen ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, for a bit of fun, they are drunk! And on a really good day (literally), I get to sit out in the hot sun with my knees on the back of some idiot's head and wait for the ambulance to get there to sedate this guy, because he is amped up on Meth and thinks that the bush people are coming to get him....while he whines at ME that the wrist, that I admittedly have in a wristlock, hurts. "Stop fighting sir, and I will ease up. You see how this works? But when you try to tackle me, you wind up here."

I cannot STAND people (men or women) who treat others who are there to serve them (as the bike shop people or the cops in the city) like peons. While a lot of times it is CAVEMEN that look at me like I am stupid, it is the WOMEN who can be stubbornly, stubbornly, obnoxiously pigheaded. I pulled a woman over for not wearing her seatbelt (she pulled it on as I passed her, I was right at her window and saw her do it)...I turned around, tucked in behind her, and when the light turned green lit her up. She insisted that because she had it on NOW, she was not in the wrong....and she paid my taxes, and she wished I would go find some real criminals, and she had never had a ticket before, and....AND she gave me the same high headed holier than thou manner that I can't stand. I not only wrote her for the seatbelt, I wrote her for not signaling her left hand turn, and, in a moment of pure glee, for not changing her address on her license within 30 days.
I am not really a ticket writer. Everyone thinks that is what we do, or have to do, or whatever. I guess some cities are like that. We have 2 or 3 traffic only officers that work the highway but that is different. I have LOTS of discretion, and I cut almost everyone a break if they are polite, responsive, accountable, and safe. She made a big show of the "I'll see you in court!" thing... which is fine...she will lose. Everything was recorded. I NEVER miss court.

You are different to some extent...I understand that just handing his Wal-Mart bike back to him and telling him to take a long walk off a short pier is not good for business, and you have to try to be tolerant of those who are ignorant, want something for nothing, and are rude to boot.

At least I get to arrest em.

[Loraura]

Bummer on the caveman.

My bike shop has adapters that fit a shrader drilled rim to make a presta valve tube fit without issues. Perhaps with one of those adapters you'd be able to sell him long stem presta valves for his aero shrader drilled rims.

A set of 2 adapters cost me like 5 bucks or less I think.

Here are some examples I found:

http://www.sjscycles.co.uk/product-M...resta-3335.htm

http://store.bikefriday.com/product_...roducts_id=979

[FireFlower]

fantastic rant! I love it, even tho it is the spawn of many a dark day for you, it has brightened my whole day today!

[msincredible]

Sometimes you need the patience of a saint to work in customer service!