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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Spokanistan
    Posts
    15

    Pet Loss/Bereavement

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    Hi Ladies,

    I'm posting in hopes that someone can share their experience with me.

    Last night I accidentally ran over one of my beloved cats in our driveway......I just did not see her. I am absolutely beside myself with grief and racked with guilt.....I've been going through all the "what if's".... I know it's not productive and it can't change anything. I know I'm going to get through this, but it's just so painful. Any thoughts or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks,

    A heartbroken Serotta rider

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Riding my Luna & Rivendell in the Hudson Valley, NY
    Posts
    8,411
    I'm so sorry. I know there are few words that would make you feel better right now. Time will help.

    Perhaps doing something for your local animal shelter in your kitty's name will make it so her death will be a catalyst that helps other kitties in need.
    Lisa
    My mountain dulcimer network...FOTMD.com...and my mountain dulcimer blog
    My personal blog:My blog
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,867
    Oh, that's terrible. Yes, time will help. When it gets too hard, can you just give yourself permission to cry it out and feel all the feelings for a time? And after that just do what you can to help the time pass.

    I used to know someone who ran over their own child. There's no comparison, but there's really no way around the grief, except through it.

    I'm sorry.

    Karen
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    insidious ungovernable cardboard

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,152
    I am so sorry
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Eugene, OR
    Posts
    123
    I don't have any advice to add, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a pet. They really are like family to us. I know it was a complete accident and I know you know that, too, but I'm sure it still makes it that much harder.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Western Massachusetts
    Posts
    352
    It makes me sad when I read of someone losing one of their pets. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Here are some links that may be helpful:

    http://www.aplb.org/

    http://www.pet-loss.net/

    http://www.petvets.com/petloss/
    I'm a Dog on a Mission! The human & I are doing Woofstock again this year!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    14,498
    (((((((Serottarider)))))))

    When my first dog died, I blamed myself for a number of reasons. So I can imagine your pain - so far beyond the "ordinary" devastation of losing a pet without blaming oneself.

    Let yourself grieve. The pain will be long and deep, but you will get through it, to the happy memories of your kitty.

    Take good care.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    714
    Be kind to yourself. You know it was an accident and that you really cared for your kitty. I'm so sorry for your loss.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    "I never made "Who's Who"- but sure as hell I made "What's That??..."

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    around Seattle, WA
    Posts
    3,238
    I'm so sorry. Remember the good things about your kitty. She'll be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge - there's a special section for the TE friends I'm convinced.
    Beth

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    3,436
    Ah, Serottarider. I am so sorry. Tctrek is right---this was a total accident. None of us see everything all the time; we do the best we can, and accidents honestly happen. Your kitty was well loved.
    "My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved;I have been given much and I have given something in return...Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and an adventure." O. Sacks

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Spokanistan
    Posts
    15

    Thanks

    Thank you all for your kind words and support. It's really helpful during this difficult time.


    Sincerely,


    Beth

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,333
    Beth, I'm so sorry for the accident and your loss. Like others have said, please be kind to yourself.

    When I lost my dog, I made a post much like yours, asking for help in pet berevement. The outpouring of support from people who didn't even know me was surprising and very helpful in working through my grief. I hope you'll find that comfort here as well.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Switzerland
    Posts
    2,032
    You can't undo it and all you can assure yourself is, the little soul is not suffering anymore. You will heal.

    as for me, I'm inconsolable - my mother's hasn't come back since Thursday. We don't know what happened. Could be dead, suffering quietly somewhere, or even stolen. I can't get the pictures out of my head. It's almost as if losing a baby.
    Last edited by alpinerabbit; 07-19-2009 at 12:35 AM.
    It's a little secret you didn't know about us women. We're all closet Visigoths.

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  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Arlington, VA
    Posts
    1,993
    I'm so very sorry and can't imagine how you're feeling. There's really nothing more that I can add to what others have said so well. Losing a pet is so hard and many of us have been through this deep loss. Sometimes you never get over it and that's OK. Your sweetie will always be in your heart. Her angel will bring her down to visit you...

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  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    the foggy wetlands,los osos,ca
    Posts
    2,860
    Wow I am sooo sorry about that. And yes time does heal. And I have gone through that what is stage too. It doesn't change what happened. It would be great if it did. Try and not beat yourself up over it. Everytime you do just remind yourself it was an accident. ((((((((hug)))))))))
    Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
    > Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!

 

 

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