Quote Originally Posted by salsabike View Post
Colby, my experience 20 years ago in ballet was that when I dropped my calorie intake too low given how many classes a week I was taking, my body seized any calories it could get and clung to them like a boa constrictor. I'd eat an apple and I swear the scale would go up. It seems to go better if I eat in moderation and don't starve.
So far in my food journaling I have found that I eat 1700-2000 calories a day regardless of what I exercise, and I tend not to adjust my intake to my exercise. Yesterday that turned into 1800 calories eaten, more than 600 calories of exercise (40 minutes of running/40 minutes of swimming), and under 1200 net calories. I know I want a deficit, but I think that's a bit too MUCH of a deficit

I have also learned that I need to push calories into the morning - I am eating around 700 calories for lunch and dinner, but only around 200-300 for breakfast. If I need to skim calories I should be skimming off the evening, vs. not eating enough and trying to make up for them in the evening - and I can't do that. Today I'm up to 500 calories before lunch, so I'm hoping to feel better (though I am exercising in the evening today, which will throw my dinner plans to later, which means I'm likely to eat less, so I will probably STILL come out too low).

I believe the only reason I am not flat out starving is that I consistently eat a lot of protein and fiber - those numbers are always above 100% for my RDA.

I am mentally having a very difficult time thinking I need to eat that many calories. I think what I need to do is to go speak to a nutritionist and have myself measured this way and that to convince myself that it is OKAY to eat that much food - that my body NEEDS it. For some reason I just can't tell myself someone my size needs to consume 2400 calories a day and LOSE weight at the same time. I always excuse it as based on measurements and approximations of people who don't have my lifestyle, blah blah, and figure it's measuring on the high side, so I shouldn't eat too much, etc.

Sorry to rant/vent.

I am pretty well convinced to go Athena and tell myself it'll be the "last" year I'll be over 150lbs. Might as well use it while I got it.