friend coming out of the closet - tips appreciated

[sgtiger]

LPH, it sounds like you're already doing the right thing. Just be there for her the same way you have always been. I think most people when they reveal something like this just want to know that it makes no difference - you care about them the same as you always have. And if you're one of the first that she has come out to, it may help build her confidence to be able to come out to her other friends or family that she thinks may not receive the new as well.

TxDoc, IMO people like the feeling of kinship that comes with being around others that share a commonality with themselves. Also when one is a part of a lifestyle, belief, profession, race, etc. that is outside what is the norm; they want to find a group where they can feel safe from being judged by others. Being part of a minority, I've had everything from death threats to well meaning friends say stupid things out of ignorance. It's not something I face everyday, but it is there. I'm sure it's worse for someone who is gay because there still exists the belief that it's a choice and that it's immoral.

[surgtech1956]

The only reason why I like to go to a 'gay bar' is because I can be myself - you don't have to worry about some 'guy' making some comment about gays/lesbians. Sometimes its more of a safety issue. I'm out, I don't think I need to announce my sexuality, 98% of the people I work with(15 years with this employer), know that I'm gay. I don't flaunt it, don't hide it either, if someone asked I would be honest. Whether I'm gay or straight has nothing to do with my job. Bottom line, just treat your friend as you did before she came out.