friend coming out of the closet - tips appreciated

[channlluv]

Yeah, unless she's fallen in "luuuurve" with you and you're not interested, then your relationship with her really shouldn't change, unless you can't stand her new girlfriend or something, but that's a whole 'nother relationship dynamic. I hope you like her new girlfriend.

My cousin came out to my brothers and me a few years ago at a family gathering. She called us out to the parking lot saying she had some news for us and was all nervous. She actually had trouble getting the words out. "I have something I have to tell you. I, um, I, well, I'm, um, I'm gay."

I looked at her for a second and said, "Okay, and what's the news?" She looked surprised that we already knew. My younger brother laughed and said, "Yeah, cousin, it's not like it's a secret." We'd just never talked about it, so she thought we didn't know (us being straight and so unfamiliar with gay pride accouterments and all :P). She'd had a bad experience coming out to an aunt and uncle for whom she worked a few months before, and we only saw her infrequently anyway, at the time, because she'd sort of dropped out of the family for a while. I think she thought her new lifestyle might hurt our grandparents most of all.

I can't speak for all the members of my family, but we had a good laugh about it that day. She was so relieved that we weren't freaked out. I'm just sorry that she thought we would be at all, and that it kept her away from us for so long.

Now we're on opposite sides of the continent, so I only see her every other year or so when I get back home, but I do love to see her. She's a really neat person, and her partner's a hoot, but that's a thread in itself. (Anybody else know a Fundamentalist Christian, proud-to-be-a-redneck lesbian who smokes, speaks in tongues, and sees angels? We've had some really amazing conversations. Which reminds me, I need to call them and let them know I'm heading back their way next month.)

Just love and support your friend as you always have. It's no biggie, really.

Roxy