I failed

[kenyonchris]

Thanks for the good advice. No, I am not going to change the title. What ever happened with it being ok to fail? I set a goal, I did not make it. I failed. So what? I will take something away from this in the end. I have gotten some great advice and I will do better next time. I have four boys. I think if you teach your kids they will fail sometimes, they will be prepared and understand how to handle it and move forward. Life is not all roses and winning. Life is not always positive either. I think it is a better example to my boys to say Mommy set s goal and didn't make it, but I am learning from it. My nine year old son is becoming a very strong little rider. I think by speaking openly with him aobut my triumphs and my failures, he may learn that just because you don't make your goal the first time, that is ok and you should try again. And to TxDoc, I am a nurse and I plan on talking to my doc tomorrow. I am pretty sure I wiped out my electrolytes.

YAY!!!! I am not a fan of this "feel good all the time" mentality...failing is different than (hold thumb and forefinger up to forehead) "LOSER." Sugar coating and participation awards don't change the facts. I have seen a lot of people who never want their kids to fail, are scared to fail themselves, and in doing that they lead unhappy, unadventurous, lives.

We learn just as much from failing as from winning, and winning is relative. I am THE MOST competitive person, but it is relative to myself, not necessarily others (although sometimes my best happens to be better than everyone else's, sometimes it is to just finish).

I have taught competitive sports my whole life (before I became a cop I coached riders doing three day eventing). If my students didn't perform to the best of their abilities on any given day (and their best might be different from day to day), they heard about it from me. I pushed them (and myself) to work harder, try harder, set high goals. Sometimes they would finish a dressage test or cross country course and see what they described as "my vein" and know that they had not put forth their best effort. It wasn't feel good riding, it was good riding. The rewards might have been harder to attain, but they were genuine.

Not everyone shares this view, that's cool. I'm sure, though, that Baby knows what to change and work on for next time, and can face her problems head on. This one becomes a shrug it off and try again.

[Zen]

We learn just as much from failing as from winning, and winning is relative.

Readers digest condensed version.

[Trek420]

Was it Dwight Eisenhower who said something along the lines of "man is at his best when reaching for something beyond his reach"

Way to know when to say when Next ride you will surely achieve your goal

[babynoahsmom]

YAY!!!! I am not a fan of this "feel good all the time" mentality...failing is different than (hold thumb and forefinger up to forehead) "LOSER." Sugar coating and participation awards don't change the facts. I have seen a lot of people who never want their kids to fail, are scared to fail themselves, and in doing that they lead unhappy, unadventurous, lives.

We learn just as much from failing as from winning, and winning is relative. I am THE MOST competitive person, but it is relative to myself, not necessarily others (although sometimes my best happens to be better than everyone else's, sometimes it is to just finish).

I have taught competitive sports my whole life (before I became a cop I coached riders doing three day eventing). If my students didn't perform to the best of their abilities on any given day (and their best might be different from day to day), they heard about it from me. I pushed them (and myself) to work harder, try harder, set high goals. Sometimes they would finish a dressage test or cross country course and see what they described as "my vein" and know that they had not put forth their best effort. It wasn't feel good riding, it was good riding. The rewards might have been harder to attain, but they were genuine.

Not everyone shares this view, that's cool. I'm sure, though, that Baby knows what to change and work on for next time, and can face her problems head on. This one becomes a shrug it off and try again.

Thanks for giving me a good laugh to start my day off with! Will ride tonight.

[OakLeaf]

Some good advice here.

I think my own objection to the language "I failed" is that it doesn't contain the lesson. It's not that there's anything wrong with failure. But there's something wrong with the attitude that failure is or was inevitable. To me, connotationally, there's a world of difference between "I failed" and "I made a mistake" (or two mistakes).

Training for the heat may not have been possible - I'm not sure what the weather has been in your area, but around here the temperature has been really variable this year. Right now it's about 55 degrees outside. We've had some hot days, but never three in a row yet this year, so none of us, even the ones who ride 40+ hard miles daily and at least one century every weekend (which I'm not one of those! ), is really acclimated to heat yet.

Training for the distance was possible. Acknowledging that you were undertrained and selecting a shorter distance for the event was also possible. To me, that wasn't a "failure," it was a "mistake," and it's important for you to identify that to yourself. "Failure" focuses on the past, self-blame and disappointment. "Mistake" focuses on planning for the future, and taking steps to be sure that if you fail again, it won't be for the same reasons.

[uforgot]

I agree with Oakleaf. The temps and humidity here were unseasonably low until last Monday and then we were hit with temps we usually don't see until August, and the humidity was about as high as it goes. No chance to acclimate yourself. To suggest that you should have persevered is just plain dangerous. Maybe if you just gave up because you didn't feel like doing it anymore it would have been a failure, but you were smart to stop when you did and apparently others were concerned about you too. How many people say they are just fine when they aren't?

As a teacher, I also see another side of the "failure" spectrum. Parents and coaches who are on their kids 24-7 to do better. The kids never feel like a success. My own son had that problem with his father, and because I didn't know anything about basketball and cross country, he disregarded any "good jobs" I gave him. He wanted his dad's approval and to this day has never gotten it.

So, if the members of TE want to assure you that you did not fail, that 50 miles was a terrific achievement, I'm afraid I'm going to have to go along with it. Better than hearing from you a couple of days later with a thread entitled "I had heat stroke at the Tour de Corn".

Enjoy your ride today, and maybe I'll see you at that Dam Bridge!

[Zen]

Better than hearing from you a couple of days later with a thread entitled "I had heat stroke at the Tour de Corn".

Absolutely!

I think Oakleaf said it quite well too.

[babynoahsmom]

Thanks advice taken. I have signed up for the 30 at BDB. I will only ride about 15-20 tonight and at a easy pace. Just wanting to get back in the saddle.

[TrekTheKaty]

Sounds like there will be a big TE turn out for the Bridge ride. I want a Dam shirt