disheartening dilemma

[tctrek]

Everyone has to ride their own ride. I spent the past year chasing DH up hills and running trying to catch his draft... and it DID NOT make me a better rider. It made me sore and frustrated and always angry at him.

This season, I told him I am riding my ride and he can ride his. We start out together and if he takes off and drops me, so be it. Funny, he keeps coming back to where I am an joining me ... he doesn't like to ride alone either.

Just food for thought.

[TrekTheKaty]

Funny, he keeps coming back to where I am an joining me ... he doesn't like to ride alone either.

Just food for thought.

YEP, us too--he actually does circles around me for fun (literally)

[spindizzy]

Good advice from everyone here. The metric centuries that I've done: first one I found a woman who was riding my pace - we finished together, second one - rode with various people throughout ride and finished by myself, 3rd one - found a group of guys that I could keep up with and finished with them. It's about the journey and the ride YOU want to do. Start off together and go your seperate ways if necessary.

[kenyonchris]

My SO is SUPERMAN. Literally. He has done the police olympics both on the road and mtb, ridden on the USPS masters cycling team, is a police biking instructor, and on his worst day is tons faster than I am on my best day, and I am a pretty aggressive rider. However, he doesn't THINK he is superman. He thinks everyone should be able to keep up with him. He nearly killed a bunch of bike cops taking one of his bike courses....he played follow the leader with them and took them through the sand volleyball pits a few times. Few of them made it out.
Although he is NEVER critical of me, and protests otherwise, I know he would rather than ride with a group of faster men than with me. I can't pull for him, so he may as well be on his own, and when he pulls for me he has to go slower than what he finds comfortable (uh, that would be faster than 22 mph and maintaining 22 mph for 75 miles is not a possibility for me).
So we go together, gear up together, start off together, then I ride my ride, and he rides his. If it is a ride where we don't want to just hang around all day, I will ride a 100k and he will do the 100 miles....I generally get in about 45 minutes before he does on that....or he brings a book and waits for me to finish the 100 miles.
I find a zen spot riding on my own. I have made new friends, and I listen to my ipod (one earbud) and clock along at my own pace, hammer when I want, coast when i want, and all is well. I would probably increase my time if I had someone to share the work with, but oh well.
Give him a kiss and tell him to leave you and you will see him at the end.
And, on the MTB, I tell him NOT TO WORRY ABOUT ME. He can power through a lot of stuff that I pick my way through. I usually find him up the trail, clipped in, hand on tree, having a breather and waiting on me. It works for us.

[ttaylor508]

You might want to mention the century you are planning on doing (if it is an organized century). You never know, you might find a riding partner right here!

[OakLeaf]

Here.

[Miranda]

Here.

Thanks, Oakleaf. I didn't search quite back far enough in "advance search". I'll be going back to the link to read the tips.

[Loraura]

Any chance it's the Katy Flatlands century in July?

[Miranda]

Any chance it's the Katy Flatlands century in July?

Nope. But a nice idea.

The club I joined puts on a tour in August. That one is pushin it too on mileage. Following TE guideline articles. My last training ride was a hillier 34mi. My next step is 40mi.

I decided to volunteer at my club's tour. I will ride part of the mileage. They are always desperate for free workers. I thought it would be a good way to see how an organized ride set up works. Plus, meet some peeps.

Think I will keep asking around about my picked event. I asked at the one club ride. They knew of it. No takers att.

I chose a Fall event. Figured cooler would be better for me. I don't do well in the humidity. And make sure I didn't rush my mileage goals (like the TE article tip says).

My guy pal has ridden this event before. He suggested it to me as good 1st century. Some rollers, but not really hilly. "Realistic" was my criteria. He really liked the ride. Thus why he wants to do it again.

Maybe the "meet you in the parking lot" idea might be a good compromise. He did say part of doing it with ME was that "he would not have the motivation alone"... hmm. I'm the opposite. Once I set my mind to it, there is no stopping me. I might fail serveral times along the way... but, I keep trying until I get it.

[Biciclista]

If guy buddy won't slow down to your pace, don't ride with him on this important ride.
Last weekend i found a great compromise with my guy buddy. I rode the 55 mile loop and he rode the 80. He rode with me for 25 miles AT MY SPEED and then we kissed goodbye and did the rest of our rides at our own rates.
YOU MUST COMMUNICATE THIS with your bike buddy. HE can ride any speed he wants but if he wants to ride with you, he has to let YOU be in charge of the speed. Good luck.

[Miranda]

OH... on the fasty peeps coming back, that is sorta funny. In an interesting way. That is my guy buddy to a degree.

At first it's all about the performance. That's a good goal. But, it's not everything. Thus, they come back. Or, like my guy pal, they cave when they are lonely and had enough. Soooo... that's my point... why can't you just hammer your brains out on the "alone ride" and scale it back for the "company ride"?

Makes sense to me. I do a bit of that with my new ride pal GF.

Seasons past she tried a group ride w/speedy guys. None waited. Totally left her. She got lost. Was just miserable experience.

Well, she wanted to re-try the group. Only if I agreed to meet up. We did. The leader was eggin me on to take the lead. I wanted to. Could have held it for a bit. But, my GF was struggling with the heat. I was not going to leave her. I was on a "company ride". Not a contest. Thus, I hung back. We rode our own thing. I know she was discouraged. We got to chat... I didn't care.