Tia,
Our situations are different, but I feel a bit of a connection to what you said. I am doing my first solo tri this Sunday (yikes!) and it's because of two reasons: 1) I always wanted to do one myself (did swimming in the past, but not the whole thing) and 2) I was completely fed up with my body image running the show and holding me back (it's been my excuse for years-- "I'm to fat/out of shape/etc to do a tri!"). I had enough of that BS.
But here's the thing-- what's a great way to get into shape?? Training for a tri!But for me it's more about feeling good about the strong, healthy, powerful body that I have (or eventually will have--not there yet, but on my way!)!! I too am familiar with the the mad-at-myself feelings sometimes about the weight I've gained, and I would say that since I bit the bullet and signed up for the triathlon (thereby forcing me to train and get moving again), I have really started to appreciate my body and all that it can do! I had a rowing coach many years back who was listening to us women b*tch about our bodies as we were getting measured for our unisuits... we were going on and on about how fat we were, how big our hips were, etc, etc... and she finally had it and said "Enough! I will not listen to you degrade your bodies another second! These are the bodies that row for you every morning... they are strong, they are powerful, and you will show them, yourselves and each other more respect!" It was a stunning and beautiful sentiment that stuck with me.
So, I say "start over"... start fresh... I think as long as you don't start comparing what you "used to do" and instead focus on your daily progress and accomplishments, you will be excited and ready to tri it up again!
Best of luck to you!!
Sarah





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