Thread Drift

[Crankin]

You are right, in that it definitely is not acceptable to make racist comments around here. But, he doesn't even know he is making a "comment," which is why I said he is clueless. That's why it's a microaggression which build up, because people assume that the culturally dominant way of thinking is the only way. For example:
Him: What are you doing this weekend?
Me: Riding on Saturday and going to a wedding on Sunday.
Him: ON SUNDAY??? (in a raised tone). Who gets married on Sunday?
Me (to myself): Jews do, you ignoramus.

Me: I really liked that sample of BioFreeze you gave me.
Him: Oh yea, it's a great stocking stuffer.
Me (again, to myself) I'd like to stuff your stocking...
Obviously, these comments taken on the surface, are not racist. But he is assuming a lot. He works in a community (the town where I used to live and where my kids went to school) where at least 30% of the population are not Christian, mostly Asian and Jewish. I guess my blonde hair and blue eyes hide my true identity, but he should be more aware.

[crazycanuck]

My mom, 2 aunts & cousin are coming in September We're now wondering where everyone will sleep & how all 6 of us will travel together. Our ute only fits 5.

Not only that but we were going to do a big mtb event that month..do we still do it?

[Tuckervill]

Of course you do it. You can't stop your life just because someone is coming. They can come and watch!

Karen

[Duck on Wheels]

You are right, in that it definitely is not acceptable to make racist comments around here. But, he doesn't even know he is making a "comment," which is why I said he is clueless. That's why it's a microaggression which build up, because people assume that the culturally dominant way of thinking is the only way. For example:
Him: What are you doing this weekend?
Me: Riding on Saturday and going to a wedding on Sunday.
Him: ON SUNDAY??? (in a raised tone). Who gets married on Sunday?
Me (to myself): Jews do, you ignoramus.

Me: I really liked that sample of BioFreeze you gave me.
Him: Oh yea, it's a great stocking stuffer.
Me (again, to myself) I'd like to stuff your stocking...
Obviously, these comments taken on the surface, are not racist. But he is assuming a lot. He works in a community (the town where I used to live and where my kids went to school) where at least 30% of the population are not Christian, mostly Asian and Jewish. I guess my blonde hair and blue eyes hide my true identity, but he should be more aware.

Brings to mind when UK-E was beginning school. Norway has a national church (Lutheran) and schools required "Christian education" class 2 hrs per week, unless the child was excused from them. Non-Lutheran parents could request that, back in UK's day (nowadays they've changed the name of the class, though not so much of the content, and taken away the right to refuse it -- a solution being contested in international courts). Anyhoo, back then, if more than 5 such requests came in for a given grade level, then the parents could collectively request that those kids be offered an alternative class in ethics and world religions. We and 6 other families did. The 1st grade teachers at the school then came back at us, one family at a time, urging us to withdraw that request so they could keep each class together as a unit at least that first year. I said that would depend on what they planned to teach in the "Christian education" classes. "Our" teacher said something like "Only things everybody believes in, like that G-d created the world." Well, as an atheist, I don't happen to believe that, but she didn't seem to understand my point. So I tried to explain to her that I'm not simply an atheist, but a secular Jew. "Oh!" she said, "Then [UK] gets her Christian education at the synagogue." Uhmmmm ... what did you just say...? Well that settled it for me. Taking "Christian education" classes throughout one's school years clearly rendered one dense as a doughnut when it came to understanding others' religious feelings. I was having none of that for my kids!

[Crankin]

What a story, Duck! But, it doesn't surprise me.
Yesterday, when I was at PT, he asked me if I was of Scandanavian descent. Apparently, people from that part of the world have an extra rib that can cause issues. I said , "No, I am Jewish and a 3d generation American... all of my grandparents were born here."
No response, but we will see if he keeps making the comments.

[Zen]

Apparently, people from that part of the world have an extra rib that can cause issues.

huh?

I was in McDonalds recently where they've started selling Angus Burgers. A woman next to me asked what kind of meat is an Angus.
I know everybody doesn't know everything but I sure thought everybody knew that. Maybe I know too much about meat.

[Biciclista]

I can vividly remember the discomfort I felt when i left parochial (catholic ) school and went to public school where everyone had to pray a protestant prayer. Most of the prayer were the same words as what we'd said the year before, but at the end it was very different. When I protested, I was coerced, forced, whatever to chant along with everyone else. Imagine how little jewish or muslim kids felt about that!

[Crankin]

Zen, I kid you not. This is what he said. OK, maybe it's not an extra rib, but he definitely said something like that, describing in detail some physical anomaly in that population.
I still remember when we said a prayer in public school, too. We said the 23d psalm, which is not inherently Christian or Jewish, but the only time I've heard it in synagogue is at the end of a funeral, when the casket is being wheeled out to the hearse. However, being the mature young kid I was (this was maybe in 3d grade), my friends and i decided to get hysterical over the line in the prayer that says "my cup runneth over." I guess we were obsessed with the idea of bra cups??? I got in trouble for laughing during the prayer.
It was during that year, they passed the law against school prayer, so I didn't have to worry about getting into trouble anymore. No wonder I liked being with middle school kids. Nothing they did in class could surpass some of the weird things I did.

[papaver]

no cycling but tiling today. And I pretty happy with the result. I'll do the grouting tomorrow.

[lph]

Zen, I kid you not. This is what he said. OK, maybe it's not an extra rib, but he definitely said something like that, describing in detail some physical anomaly in that population.

Wha? *feels ribs* I do know of two friends that both have unusually long backs. It's not visible, at least it doesn't look weird or anything, but I do believe they have an extra vertebra. Maybe it's more common here, never thought about it. I kid them that they're like these modern pigs that are bred with an extra rib.

I wouldn't mind an extra vertebra. My female friend has the loveliest elegant back you can imagine and looks stunning in long gowns.

Re: prayer and kids: not quite the same, but I can also vividly remember the discomfort I felt about the Pledge of Allegiance when I visited my grandparents in the States for 3 months when I was... 9 or so, and went to school there. Not surprisingly it just felt very wrong, which I "solved" in an extremely unelegant way, by mumbling, rolling my eyes and generally being a pain Funny, that no-one ever asked if I might want to pass on it and just sit. Do kids still recite this in school?