I sympathize with you. And I fourth the bike fit bit. As well as checking the sit bones.

I'm lucky that I don't have big problems with saddle.

The first one that came with my folding bike was San Marco Island Ponza, with 12.5cm in width and hard surface. I could still ride on it for 60+ km (38+ miles without pain. But this year I replaced it with CHARGE Ladle (Ladies) Saddle (14.8 cm in width). No problem for 100 km (63 miles).

However, the saddle I like most is the one that came with my road bike Fuji Finest RC (15 cm in width). It's made by Velo (D2 series).

BTW, I usually wear shorts or tights without chamois.