I have heard a local , nice guy rider warn me that ' the guys are pretty competitive'.

All I can add is, be happy you have your health. I can only ride around the block sometimes, so someone like you, esp being a woman knocks my socks off.
Your a trouper, and amazing and I have no doubt your heart in riding is a big and courageous one. Dont let it break over silly guys. They get that testosterone burst from heavy competition and that's a male advantage.
Every club ride for you ,is a stage race it sounds like!
Dont give up.
Someday, I swear I am riding on the 'big boys playground'( at least in back on intermediate rides) if I die trying!!! Viva la femme!!