I'm sorry your having some bad days with your group.

Perhaps it's time to find a group more suited for you?

The group I ride with has a standing policy "hills are fair game, on your mark, get set, GO!" They wait at the top or bottom by soft pedaling (not actually stopping and waiting). When I ride with them I have to be of the mindset that it's OK to get dropped and ride alone, especially when they do big hills.

But that was made clear from the get go. I'd be really frustrated too if that wasn't supposed to be the policy and they kept leaving me in the dust.

And every time I ride with them I become a better rider, but I have to be in the right mindset for it or I too end up in grrrrr mode.