Overeating

[shootingstar]

Catriona:
I had a mom who would confiscate & trash any sweets that we got, because they were bad for us...

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Tctrek:
I partially agree with the family theory. I am the oldest of 7 children and as a result, I did a lot of the more grown up chores for my mother. In reward, the best snacks were put aside for me and I was allowed to wait until all the other kids were asleep to eat my treat.

To this day, I am really good at saving a treat until a special, quiet time when I can get the utmost enjoyment. But, I don't overeat. I can walk past the same box of cookies for a week.

My parents did not have enough money to give any of us weekly allowance to buy anything.

Sweets were eaten in small amounts with special occasions --birthdays (not always), Easter, Christmas, Chinese New Year's, etc. For instance, my parents would buy 1 8"-12" hollow chocolate bunny that was divided amongst 6 children. Chocolate bunny was displayed for over 2 wks. in its purchased box in living rm. and only eaten at Easter.

Guess that was 1 technique to teach children to ...delay gratification of sweet tooth. Hence, by the time we got to eat chocolate bunny it really was "special" for each of us.

Or 1 regular size can of pop was divided between 2 children. Hence, 3 cans of Coke. For special occasions only.

At banquets, restaurants dinners we were allowed to eat endless amounts, including junk food...because those occasions were considered 'special' or exceptional.

I don't recall food used as reward nor punishment (ie. witholding food) when growing up.

Tctrek: Wasn't aware of any special food set specifically aside for me as the eldest. But I suppose I "spoiled" as first child: Had my own bedroom in my late teens...whereas others had to share bedrooms. I viewed it as parents' support for me to focus on schoolwork and allow me to type in middle of the night (on typewriter) for university essays. A "benefit" to me, had subtle strings of high expectations as eldest to be a good role model to younger ones.

Until I joined TE forums, which is pretty recent, I never knew importance or impact of the legacy of childhood/teenage healthy diet and cooking techniques that my mother gave to us. While I cook some of these recipes because it's healthy, it is also partially as comfort food/ cultural touchstone for myself. It's like keeping alive whatever crummy Chinese speaking fluency abilities I have left.

Unquestionably I have unfortunately gained an appetite for quality desserts (and I blame it on my German partner and his mother's heritage quality baking), but still to this day, I don't like very sweet desserts: caramels, toffees, brittles, fudges, sugar pies. I gravitate to lighter desserts (phyllo based, mousse, etc.) probably because my diet for lst 20 yrs. in life never had much desserts.

Recently I mulled over incredulously over my past teenage habits. When a child's appetite is not whetted for alot of sugars, junk, they may be less tempted: As a teen I volunteered to sell lunches at my school when I was 14. I was never tempted to buy/sneak off with a packaged spong cream cakes or chocolate bar or chips. Then at 15-16 yrs., I volunteered for once a wk. at high school tuck shop where we sold candy, chips and ice cream. I don't recall feeling much deprived as I was taking in my peers' money and giving them their purchased junk food.

Methinks I had ice cream several times during the whole 2 years. That was it. Tuck shop volunteering was more of social thing, not access to junk food since I hung out with the other student volunteers there, yaaking away.

It blows my mind. My own cluelessness to lack of temptation at that tender age.

[GLC1968]

shootingstar - that's interesting and totally opposite of what I saw with my best friend when we were kids. Did you live in a culture where no one had tons of sweets, or was your family unique?

I ask because I had a friend growing up who lived next door to us when we were around 10 years old. She was my best friend and both she and younger sister would have meals or sleepovers at our house all the time. Let me back up a bit...my parents didn't deny us anything in terms of food. We didn't really have 'rules' about food at my house, either. Basically, 1) you weren't allowed to say that you didn't like something until you'd as least tried it and 2) every meal had veggies. I grew up loving fruits and veggies even though we had things like sugar cereals, cookies, chips etc in the house. (We were not allowed Cheerios because my mother hated them and how they smelled, but anything else was 'game'). Those things are now no big deal to me. BUT, my friends who lived next door? Their parents were strict vegetarians and health food fanatics. They had NO sweets in their house, ever. They weren't even allowed things like pizza and no soda ever graced their lips. When I would hang out over there, we'd snack on frozen blueberries because that's all they had for 'snack foods'. Anyway, when these girls would come to our house, they'd go nuts. 3 and 4 servings of pancakes (if my mom made them) and they'd literally lick the syrup off the plate. They'd gobble up 3 or 4 hotdogs each if that what we had. They'd polish off bags of chips and if we asked what they wanted for breakfast, it was always 'cereal!' and they'd eat multiple bowls. My mother was afraid that they were starving!

Fast forward to college and they both blew up like balloons. I think that because everything was denied them (when they saw all their friends eating it), they never learned control. It was unreal.

But to me, these things were nothing special. I could eat them if I wanted them but they held no sense of 'specialness' or anything.

Even today, my problem isn't junk food as I can always take it or leave it. I'm way more likely to overeat sushi or pecans or oatmeal - all things that in moderation are considered 'healthy'.

[Cataboo]

IT might just be that asian deserts in general aren't overly sweet - in comparison western deserts are too sweet.

While I do like sweet, I do prefer less sweet and I can't eat too much sweet. Now that I have access to a lot of things that I didn't as a kid... It boggles my mind that we were gobbling down candy that we didn't really like all that much, it was just more of a, we knew it was going to be taken away from us. The standard birthday cake with icing, I can't really be bothered eating now. However, back then it was rare.

That's not to say I won't gorge myself on something that's worth eating, though A really good cheesecake, a whatever.... There were a couple of cakes at work today (red velvet & something else), I had a teensy bit to try and went on my way. Brownies, cookies, and the rest of that I dont really care for.

I was definitely boggled by my friends who always had cookies or candy about, and could just eat one and stop.

I tend not to bother so much about my weight - I'm in general a fairly healthy eater when I cook for myself, I eat a lot of vegetables and fruit. I also seem to be able to gain weight by looking at food (and gained way tooo much writing my thesis)... But as long as I'm in good enough physical shape that I can do the things I want to do and enjoy, I'm not going to stress about extra fat on my body. I know a ton of people that are much skinnier than I, but aren't anywhere near as fit.

[shootingstar]

shootingstar - that's interesting and totally opposite of what I saw with my best friend when we were kids. Did you live in a culture where no one had tons of sweets, or was your family unique?

I ask because I had a friend growing up who lived next door to us when we were around 10 years old. She was my best friend and both she and younger sister would have meals or sleepovers at our house all the time. Let me back up a bit...my parents didn't deny us anything in terms of food. We didn't really have 'rules' about food at my house, either. Basically, 1) you weren't allowed to say that you didn't like something until you'd as least tried it and 2) every meal had veggies. I grew up loving fruits and veggies even though we had things like sugar cereals, cookies, chips etc in the house. (We were not allowed Cheerios because my mother hated them and how they smelled, but anything else was 'game'). Those things are now no big deal to me. BUT, my friends who lived next door? Their parents were strict vegetarians and health food fanatics. They had NO sweets in their house, ever. They weren't even allowed things like pizza and no soda ever graced their lips. When I would hang out over there, we'd snack on frozen blueberries because that's all they had for 'snack foods'. Anyway, when these girls would come to our house, they'd go nuts. 3 and 4 servings of pancakes (if my mom made them) and they'd literally lick the syrup off the plate. They'd gobble up 3 or 4 hotdogs each if that what we had. They'd polish off bags of chips and if we asked what they wanted for breakfast, it was always 'cereal!' and they'd eat multiple bowls. My mother was afraid that they were starving!

Fast forward to college and they both blew up like balloons. I think that because everything was denied them (when they saw all their friends eating it), they never learned control. It was unreal.

+1 on trying food as a child & loving veggies & fruits as child. I didn’t quite understand my peers’ complaints about veggies. My parents were/are not vegetarian. But they were abit stricter than yours. Mother occasionally bought boxed oatmeal cookies which she rationed out for us. It didn’t happen often. Sure, we had ice cream 1-2 times per wk. during summer. She allowed older kids to learn to portion out each person’s share of ice cream into bowls. None of us dove into the freezer secretly for extra ice cream. Probaby knew mother would figure it out and had to face her wrath. Her wrath was serious.

I can compare us against relatives who cook traditional Chinese in a way different from mother. For instance, they use more oil, salt and not so carefully cut off the chicken fat/skin like my mother. Since my father was a restaurant cook, he had insight on some unhealthy dishes, and from reading English language newspapers on health hazards/concerns, he also influenced how we could eat better. This transformation to healthier eating started around when I was 11-12 yrs. and onward. I do remember eating chicken fat cracklings prior…

Wow, your friends’ parents were very strict. Like you, I agree it is helpful parents provide healthy attitudes about all kinds of foods and how it is portioned out/when it should be served to children.


Any traditional Asian cuisine cookbook and any ‘traditional” Asian restaurant menu, lacks decent diversity of desserts. The cuisine traditionally just is not known for much desserts. The emphasis traditionally after a meal, is fresh fruit. Ie. cut oranges, etc.

Hence, this influenced how my mother cooked. By the way, she left a lot of baking (except for egg sponge cakes, which are steamed, not baked. That is the traditional Chinese method) to us older teenagers to try a recipe of muffins or cookies. Only time, we were allowed to overtake the kitchen.

Even now the Chinese bakeries, don’t offer a fantastic range of desserts. Not compared to a European bakery. And anything where you see some mousse-like cakes, tarts, etc….is just aspirations to cater to Western-oriented palates (and make money).

The photo that I posted in TE a few days ago, where I wore a skort --I credit cycling...AND my mother's style of healthy cooking, it is this foundation to my current bone structure, size and if I have to be on a "diet", I just fall back..on how I ate as child/teen minus alot less white rice.

Thanks to mother..and father too.

[Zen]

As the youngest child, I know that I used to hide food. I suppose I was saving it for later. But then I'd forget about it and it would be discovered in a drawer or a toy chest months later.
amazing there were no vermin besides me in the house.

[Reesha]

Just got my copy of The End of Overeating. I shall read it in bed tonight and report as soon as I finish.