polly - I'm so sorry. Last year, I had to face my dad's mortality...and it was tough.

You need to be truthful with yourself about how you feel. Counseling can help. But, in this visit, you have the chance to say everything you wanted to say...while her situation is manageable.

Is it time to consider moving her closer to you? We did that a few years ago with my parents, and being an only child, it really enhanced the value of the remaining time we had and our ability to deal with my dad's decline and my mom's alcoholism.