Significant Other Personality

[tctrek]

My DH and I are mostly opposites. We met in 1987 when we were both in our mid-thirties and we worked at the same place. He is very laid back, absent-minded, never worries, lives for the moment. I am very intense, a worrier always thinking ahead. We need each other to balance out the weirdness of the other. What do we have in common? We are both opinionated and bossy and when we both are cat lovers.

In 22 years we have never, ever had a fight. It's quite amazing. Even if the intense part of me wants to fight, the laid back part of him won't allow it. So, we just talk through the problem. We are together all the time... we work out together, shop together and most of all ride together. He's truly my soul mate and I don't know what I would do without him.

Ooops... forgot about the "commitment" part. We had both been through bad marriages and the "M" word was not in our vocabulary. We dated for a year, lived together for 12 years and have been married for 9 years! I think the commitment was always there, though. You don't need to be married to be committed.

[Crankin]

My husband and i are complementary, mostly the same on everything. He has become more like me .
We've been married for almost 30 years, so it works. We never fight; once in awhile I raise my voice, but I have a shorter fuse. We are both neat freaks, but he's a lot worse than me...
Truthfully, I could be with my husband all of the time. I know it sounds sickening, but it's the way I feel. We do almost everything together, although we have our own separate and very different careers.

[Kalidurga]

Glancing quickly at the title, I thought this was a thread for schizophrenics...

[Pax]

Are you me?

We're not at 20 years yet, still at the "figuring each other out" (about 4 years together). But regardless of that it works well. Fantastic, isn't it?

It really is! My ex and I were very much alike and we ran out of things to talk about at the dinner table after a couple of years, my honey and I still manage to have stimulating conversations daily, even after all these years.

[TxDoc]

Glancing quickly at the title, I thought this was a thread for schizophrenics...

Hee-hee I'm still trying to figure out how this one ended up in 'open topic (cycling related)'...

[kiwibug]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years.. We met when I was 18 and he was 19, in class.. I introduced myself (which is really rare, I'm usually super shy) and we just started sitting together all the time, and then he finally asked me out about 3 months later.

We're alike in a lot of ways, and very different in others. We have a lot of the same priorities in life, which I think is really important. We're both total goofballs at times, which keeps things fun. I'm a lot more short-tempered though, he's a lot more level-headed and patient. He keeps me grounded. He's a lot neater, and I'm a slob that spreads my stuff out everywhere. I'm a lot more athletic than he is, but he still jogs when he has time. I'm hoping he'll get more into cycling later! Right now things are kind of at a weird point, we're both still in university and still figuring out who we want to be.. But so far it's working out really well. We moved in together this past September, and it's been fabulous so far.

It's great to see that there are some couples out there who met around the same age me and my boyfriend met! I like to think that this is the man I'll spend the rest of my life with, but sometimes it seems pretty unlikely.

[Owlie]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We're both in college and had some of the same friends, so we were living on the same floor. It took both of us quite a while to realize that "the like" was reciprocal, and he finally asked me out over spring break, after about two months of slightly awkward conversations and trips to Starbucks.

We're complementary, I'd say. We're similar in a lot of ways--we like similar music, we're completely silly most of the time (keeps things fun), our politics are the same. He's a little more laid back than I am. I don't take crap from people, he's more willing to let things slide. I'm a workaholic, he's not. I'm hoping to go to grad school, he says he's done with school after he graduates. (In fairness, he'll be going into a field where it's easy to be overqualified.) We're both still in college and trying to figure ourselves out, and while we're hoping to stay together after we graduate, one never knows...

[indigoiis]

My DH was a bachelor through his thirties, no serious relationship before me. I was a divorced single mom. He is the quiet man and very neat and organized - a tool guy who can fix or build anything. He loves history and rides a 1982 Colnago. I am a chatterbox and a slob. We both love to read and we love our farm and do just about everything together, so I would consider him my best friend. He is not the best person to take to a party and he is sometimes without words at the dinner table and doesn't always know how to relate to my (also quiet) artist teenager, but he's come a long, long way. I've known him since 1996 when I was still married to the first... we met in a Thomas Hardy book discussion group on AOL. We were all friends and he and I dated a little after the divorce, broke up, dated again, and finally got married in 2006. It was well worth the wait.

[Norse]

My partner and I have been together for 13 years now. We met through a mutual friend who invited us both to a party and told each other about the other person in advance. She was playing matchmaker. We both laughed her off at first but, of course, she was right!

I would have to say that we are complimentary. I am a neat freak and a control freak, she is more "come what may" and "that can wait." It helps keep me balanced. I do not like to yell and prefer logical discussions, she has a quick Irish temper, so I help to keep her balanced. While some of our interests are shared, we have different ones as well. For instance, I love biking while her bike gathers dust and she prefers running or walking. At our core though, we share the same or similar values, have similar beliefs re: what's important in life and we share enough interests to have fun together. She is also my best friend and the first person I want to talk to when something goes wrong, and the first person I want to share good news with. Another key: we make each other laugh, often.

[Karma007]

Very intersting thread! I would love to tell you all the story of my fiance' and I, but it would be a novel. In a nutshell, we met (and fell in love) 14 years ago, but it took that long to get the timing right. If it weren't for his fierce belief in me, and in destiny, I would have never found the courage it took to find my way back to him. We'll be married in October, not just for forever, but for "No Matter What".

On a practical level, we are complimentary; I'm detail oriented, and he's a big picture kind of guy; he's handling the logisitics of buying a house, and I play with the details of planning a wedding. (We give eachother daily updates).

We've both been through some rough stuff over the years, so learning what the other one needs has been our focus right now. We know from experience that poor communication can be fatal. In a previous relationship, for example, each of us gave %100, but it just wasn't what the other person needed. You have to talk.

So we talk. And laugh. And sing, and are generally annoying to other people, and it's grand...

[teigyr]

My partner and I are polar opposites, except in our values and morals. We've been together almost 20 years and while it took us a long time to figure each other out, at this point in our lives we're quite comfortable together. Our differences now compliment our lives as opposed to interrupting it.

But I think values and morals (along with shared vision) are the most important things. Once you get past the "ohmygosh you like sushi? I LOOOOVE sushi, it must be fate!" stage of your life, you realize that all sorts of things change but who you are as a person, doesn't. The little stuff beyond that, as long as you can live with it, is great. Differences ensure life is never boring!

DH and I have the same core values, we place the same importance on our relationship, and we enjoy spending time together. While the little things (I can be oblivious about things not being in their right place and he is more of a lean manufacture/engineer type person) make life interesting, we balance each other and learn from each other. Like some others here, we do most everything together. He even went wedding gown shopping with me and helped me choose it...and I daresay that is a faux pas

Oddly enough, we've never been in a fight. We've had disagreements and there are times we feel the need to express our opinions (sometimes strongly), we can do that and then go on with greater understanding about each other.

[surgtech1956]

My partner and I have been together 13 years. We met at work. We made the committment after a year of dating. She is the artsy type, quiet type, muscially inclined. I am more outgoing, technically minded, not artsy. I would say we are more alike, we enjoy most ofthe same hobbies.

[TrekTheKaty]

And another thought--it's good to be opposites. Once I tried my hubby's laid back philosophy on a vacation. I usually over plan--what time we need to catch our flight, rental cars, hotels, things to do when we get there. And I get upset when things that I spent a lot of time on, don't work out. SO ONCE, I WINGED IT! Guess what happened? We landed, DH said "where's our hotel?" I didn't have one. Spent all day trying to find a hotel that wasn't sold out.

Now, he doesn't complain when I make plans. And when things don't go as planned, I've learned to chill and follow hubby as he wanders off.

[kenyonchris]

My SO have known each other for a few years. We are both in the same profession (both cops) which, I think for us, is really important. It is sort of one of those jobs that you can't understand unless you have been one. I would call us compatibly alike...which means we are very much alike, but not so much that we can't balance each other out. I was married very young (at 20!) to a guy who I was the polar opposite of, and it never, ever worked. We struggled through it for 13 miserable years. I met a man who had similar interests as I did, but our core way of doing things was so totally different that we wound up driving each other crazy. My SO and I cycle together sometimes, but he is crazy fast and I know he worries about me, so sometimes I ride with another friend or two and he does his thing. We can talk about it at the end.

[GLC1968]

My husband and I met when we were in our mid-30's. We met on Match.com, actually. Our first few phone conversations were 4+ hours. Our first date was at Busch Gardens. It was almost an instant thing for us and we attribute that to two things: 1) having already 'been there, done that' in terms of relationships, and 2) we truly are a perfect match.

For the most part, I'd say that we compliment each other, and yet we often share the same brain. We bought each other the same exact gift for our first valentine's day. We complete each others sentances and often communicate without speaking. We often get asked how long we've known each other and most people can't believe it's only been 7 years now (we've been married for 6 of them). And yet, there are sizable differences. I'm controlling, he's not. He's quick to anger, I have more patience. We are both engineers, so we are both analytical and practical. We have different views about raising children, but since we've chosen not to have any, it's not really an issue. We value the same things and share the same dreams...so it all works.

Until I met him, I didn't understand those people who had to call their significant others every chance they got. I didn't understand how one could want to spend that much time with any one person. I was fiercely independent, and I expected to always be that way. I am. But now I have someone with whom I want to share that independence. Weird? Maybe, but it works...for both of us.