Thoughts on saying goodbye to pets

[Selkie]

So sorry to hear about Nugget. It sounds as it Nugget passed quickly and thank goodness, you didn't have to be the one to make "the decision." We've had to do that twice and it's incredibly difficult.

For Agnes and Maud, we got them each an 'angel" (yard ornaments) for the front yard. Their ashes are next to our bed, along with their collars and a photo of them. On the living room mantel, we have pictures of them and a memorial candle.

When I die, my DH is going to mix my ashes w/Agnes' and toss us into the ocean together (Caribbean - in my will, he's instructed to take a vacation there to take care of this).

[sundial]

(((((Lisa))))))

(((((Spindizzy)))))

When I gently led Ana and Jodi Bell to the Bridge, I wrapped them in a soft blanket and buried them near the wild honesuckle and blackberry bushes. I planted a dogwood and every spring when it blooms, it gives me hope and a sense of renewal. I've always enjoyed nature's living tributes to our little family members. When Jodi was buried, a mockingbird rested on her grave for 3 days. I will always cherish that memory.

[ZenSojourner]

I've kind of been avoiding this thread because it hits too close to home, I guess.

I have an elderly dog who is probably not going to last out the year. According to the vet, she can't walk (she does) but she's definitely getting to the place where she can't walk anymore. She was run over as a puppy and her hindquarters are a mess, it's a long story that involves multiple incompetent vets over a 10 or 12 year period, but I've seen the x-rays and she SHOULDN'T be able to walk. I expect to lose her soon. She's 17.

Not exactly a pet, but my elderly father lives with me and the last year and a half has been a struggle with his health, and it looks like we're about to lose that struggle to a 3rd bout of lung cancer. I expect to lose him before the year is out as well. He's 89. It's been a bad year for him.

I feel for all of you who are about to or have already lost pets. You have my sympathy.

[tctrek]

When we are feeling our worst about losing anyone that we love, we have to cope somehow and keep going and do the right thing. The only way I've ever been able to do this is to fully believe that when my pet is in pain and not able to live the way they always have that they will be at peace when they pass away. I have to envision an end to their pain and suffering. If you approach it as the ultimate act of love, it is doable.

I don't know if this really applies to people, though. I don't think I believe in euthanizing people. With people, there is often a hope in a medical miracle. Our bodies can fight. With a pet, they are so small and veterinary medicine is nowhere near as advanced, that when they start to slide it's often impossible to bring them back.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I remember when I lost my sweet little pug dog Kinky, what I did was this-
there was a certain corner where her little doggie basket/bed always was. A few days after she died I gave the dog bed to the humane society (they really can use it!) but then that corner looked so sadly empty. I took a little red felt tip pen and made a tiny 1/4 inch red heart on the wall way down there where her basket had been. Funny, but it cheered me to see the tiny little heart on the wall in "Kinky's corner" whenever I passed it. It made that empty corner more positive and sweet, rather than so sad.

[spindizzy]

Thanks everyone- I've passed on your hugs to DD whom is devastated, but coping. She has decided to have him buried in the back yard, along with some ashes from our dog - they grew up together. We will plant something - that part hasn't been decided.

Nugget was in great health (or so we thought). He was prancing around my legs as I got out of the shower, "tormenting" his feather fur toy..I guess we can take solace that his death was sudden with no prolonged illness prior.

DH mentioned that this is the first time in 18 years we've been pet -less...

Bleecker - I love the little red heart.... makes my heart smile!

[nancielle]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about Nugget. How sad.

It's been interesting to read through the posts and see how everyone copes with the loss of their pets. I thought the little red heart was touching and I loved the lasting tributes of plantings.

Many years ago, in another job and before I was fortunate enough to have a pet friendly landlord, a coworker's cat died. She had found this cat abandoned and brought him home and the two were constant companions. She was devestated by his loss and called out from work. I can still hear the office manager calling her and telling her to grow up and get into work. What a snot.

Within the past eight months three colleagues have lost their pets. While Chloe is pretty healthy and relatively young (Hunter is healthy too but I have no clue how old he is) I hope that I'm able to make the right decisions for them when the time comes.

Thanks for the replies.

[Aggie_Ama]

Hugs to ((Lisa, Lydia & DH)). ((Spindizzy, Dizzy daughter and Nugget))

This is kind of comical to me.... My Nanny and Pawpaw had a cat "Damn Cat or DC" that both claimed to have not wanted but spoiled rotten. When DC was put to sleep (after suffering because it was a flaw of Pawpaw's) they kept the ashes in the china cabinet and argued over who could be buried with them. The agreement was whoever died first but then they would lovingly argue over whether the survivor would hold the bargain. Pawpaw died in 2003 and Nanny let him have DC. But first she labeled the box "DC" so no one would open it, because you know so many people open boxes stuck in coffins.

I personally want to scatter or bury Maggie's ashes but DH is having trouble letting them go. We never even got them back with any pets in the past and I want to be cremated but made into an artificial reef which I saw on Discover Channel one night.

[OakLeaf]

I just remembered that our tradition of bringing something for our dogs to have in the afterlife, began because the one who died first had such strange tastes that we didn't know if they'd have what he wanted in dog heaven.

Xiao Shieung was such a picky eater, he wouldn't touch most treats or foods the other dogs loved, but whenever I made sushi he'd beg for nori. It was the only food he ever begged for. I was astounded the first time he did it. So at his funeral we tore up a small sheet of nori and cast it after his ashes. And also a little piece of fuzz to play with. He was so like a cat in his play.

[makbike]

I have seen many of my beloved buddies go to the Rainbow Bridge in the past years - it never gets any easier. My vet and her staff try to make it as peaceful as they can. I never leave their side and I talk to them throughout the procedure (a cold word I know). I tell them how much I love them, how much they mean to me and I always tell them to go in peace - which they do. When the time is right I write them a letter and I put it with their ashes. I look for signs that they are okay - Squire sent me a rainbow, Hondo a full moon, etc - silly I know but these things help make it easier for they mean so much to me and fill my life with such joy.

[cylegoddess]

My best buddy, Mr Bunny O fuzzy Boots Magoo( a combo of mine and husbands names) died last month.He had been very ill.
It was hard.
I did a pagan mass for him, after he died that night, when we buried him. My husband cried heaps. It was very moving. I think it helped.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((cylegoddess & DH)))))))

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

My best buddy, Mr Bunny O fuzzy Boots Magoo( a combo of mine and husbands names) died last month.He had been very ill.
It was hard.
I did a pagan mass for him, after he died that night, when we buried him. My husband cried heaps. It was very moving. I think it helped.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Was Boots a dog or bunny or cat?
What a great name. I named my beloved departed pug dog The Dutchess Kinky Ballou. It was a perfect name for her.
Mr Bunny O fuzzy Boots Magoo....too wonderful! Can you post a picture of them?

[invsblwmn]

When my best buddy, Brodie, died May 4th 2008, I had her cremated. My vet gave me a plaster cast of her paw print and I saved some of her hair in a baggie. I have it all in a special wooden box with some of the cards people sent to me. She and I will be scattered together in a place only my power of attorney will know in my will when I pass. Silly?

[Biciclista]

When my best buddy, Brodie, died May 4th 2008, I had her cremated. My vet gave me a plaster cast of her paw print and I saved some of her hair in a baggie. I have it all in a special wooden box with some of the cards people sent to me. She and I will be scattered together in a place only my power of attorney will know in my will when I pass. Silly?

Hi Invisiblewoman! I don't think it's silly at all. But I hope you have new pets come into your life. I would be too lonely without them!