Quote Originally Posted by shootingstar View Post
Redhodie: Never in my life I have ever made a conscious effort to gain weight. I just gained weight by not paying attention to what I was eating.
I was borderline anorexic in my 20s, when I was taking ballet classes. I got down to 112, pretty much by starving myself, and I obsessed over every calorie and gram of fat, and every bump in the mirror (at that point, I didn't see myself as thin. I weigh over 10 lbs more now, but I think I look thinner. It's a strange phenomenon).

AT that point, I was pretty miserable. I stopped dancing and started taking yoga, and the less time I spent looking in a full length mirror, the healthier I got. It's sad I wasted so much time striving for something that was so destructive. I'm lucky to have gotten through it.

Now, to see myself as healthy at a weight I would have been very depressed about back then is a big improvement in my self esteem. I thank cycling for that. I know how weak I am when I get below 120. When I get to that place, I know I need to watch myself just as much as getting over 125. It's a balancing act.

Of course, it's much easier to gain than lose for me! Gaining is effortless! I love to eat!