Dear So and So

[redrhodie]

Dear Client,

Please don't send me your political email. We are not of the same mindset, and since this is a business relationship, it's really inappropriate. Also, since I've dreaded every project I've done for you, I'll be refusing any future requests.

Sincerely,
Your Jeweler

P.S. Your husband is a jerk.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Along similar lines.....

Dear neighbors,
I like you well enough and we do favors for each other from time to time, but...
Please, if I come over for no reason other than to bring you a bouquet of fresh flowers from my garden, don't see it as a great opportunity to try to convert me to your religion and 'save my soul'. You know my views already, please have respect for them. I don't try to convert you to my way of thinking.

[cylegoddess]

Dear Cycling food manufacturers,

could you please make SOMETHING without wheat/grain/ glucose/rice/white sugar/ soy/ egg whites/ nuts /raisins? I am allergic.Even if it is nothing but ground up dates with apricots and quinoa, I will buy it until I die. I am sick of making my own snacks, as I have to make my own bread/cookies/soup/meals and am tired of this 'pioneer' crap.
And how about some honey based, non caffeine energy shots? It would be nice to have something that would revive me from near exhaustion without poisoning myself.

Dear Goddess of winds,

please do something about that 2 km stretch off nothing but headwinds both ways, on my commute. I know its not far but having to stop three times to rest while big men zoom by is demoralizing

Dear Cycling Clothing manufacturers,

for once, jeez, can you make a jersey for flat chested women? I can store two extra water bottles in the space left. And what is with the size of elastic in leg openings? Id like for once not to lose circulation.
And please, pretty please make some arm warmers and leg warmers that fit small ladies. Ill buy them in every colour for ever, just as not to have to knot rubber bands on my upper arms and over my leg warmers.

Dear Seat Makers,
not all chix like pink. your seats suck.

[cylegoddess]

dear Goddess of the universe( whatever you are)
thank you for the kindness of strangers and my clinic nurse,who see me when I am getting my every other week IVC. You care more about my getting better from being ill, than my own family. Patients, Thank you for telling me all you cycling storys, esp the cute man who with cancer , who rides weekly 75 km, who told me that all I need to do is intervals and he'd see me racing in five years.

Thank you for sending me my best friend,who took me to buy a cycle.

Please send me someone to ride with.

Thank you for not giving me cancer, even though what I have isnt curable, I can live with it.

Please send Good day sunshine her health.

Dear Lance Armstrong,

thank you for setting a good example. Because of you and my own will, I got up on days I could hardly walk and rode my bike. Im almost better now and it sure helped to pretend I was you ,on, terrible days I could barely stand and had to work all day, standing up, for those bad years. Every day was a new Tour.
I am on my bike.

[lph]

Dears powers that be, and you're probably female,

I need some peace of mind again. Have any to spare? I know it's spring and all, but this is so unsettling and I'm getting dizzy from the mood swings. I really don't need to doubt my entire life twice a day.

thanx chix

[Selkie]

Dear Powers that Be

Please let me receive that news I've been awaiting and making it be . If it is not going to work out, please give me the courage to accept it with dignity, grace and peace.

[chatterbox]

Dear students making kissy-face in the bike lane,

I'm sure you've seen the signs in various places throughout campus declaring bike free zones. But perhaps you haven't really noticed that there are pretty much only two routes a bike can take through campus, and that they're clearly marked with little bikes painted on the pavement, not to mention the double-yellow lines. So due to the fact that I must stay on the bike path or risk a ticket for endangering the lives of pedestrians, would you please take your makeout session elsewhere? That goes triple for the young ladies walking four abreast across both directions of the bike lane. Do not look surprised when I continue to ride toward you. Do not look put out when I do not yield. Get. Out. Of. My. Bike lane.

Sincerely,
A cyclist and campus citizen

[Owlie]

Dear immune system--
That is pollen. It is not a virus, bacterium, parasite or anything else you might want to react to. Believe it or not, it is entirely harmless. So I'd appreciate you toning it down a little. You're making it very difficult to sleep, study, or enjoy the beautiful (for a change) weather.
Go hang out around that cut in my foot. It might need that.