Some serious thoughts on "Not Rape"

[Irulan]

I think the article misses the point of greater social ills that lead to many ( not all) off the situations presented. Where are the parents? Where is the rage at the absence of parents? All I got out of it was "victim, helpless, victim, victim"... which is some cases is totally appropriate, but I think missing the bigger point.

Young girls seeking out attention from older boys/men is typical documented behavior in reaction to father abandonment. No 11 year old girl raised in an emotionally healthy environment is going to need an older boy friend. Many of the situations presented are typical in dysfunctional, latch key, unsupervised environments. Some parents are physically present, but preoccupied, or even support things like attention from older men, enhanced sexuality for young girls etc.

I'd like to see the rage at a culture that makes it OK for parents to have a "me first" attitude, rage at a culture that sexualizes young girls, rage at parental abandonment etc.

I'm not going to go into my backstory, let's just say been there, done that and supporting the concept of being victimized is short sighted.

[SadieKate]

I don't think that article was intended to be all encompassing. I certainly didn't think it conveyed anyone as "victim, helpless, victim, victim." It conveyed very strongly that women and girls need to be aware and think on their feet -- and that society needs to teach men to respect women.

The article struck a chord with me because the writer talks about behavior that our society tends to sweep under the rug. I certainly was not seeking out the attention of older men and boys, yet I was a victim any way. We were crossing paths in a school yard during a school day, for goodness sake - where one wouldn't expect to be assaulted and certainly not at that age. I'm sure that the school authorities would have brushed aside any complaint from me about the 5th grader grabbing my breast. They might have admonished him, but I bet I've have been told "boys will be boys."

If you want the article to be all encompassing and an analysis of society's ills, it would need to be a book - and the writer's intended audience would not read it. I believe the writer wants young girls to think about their own safety and behavior in the middle ground that is so rarely discussed, and that won't happen without a short article about her own emotional turmoil speaking directly to the most at-risk audience. Will she cause one young girl to think twice? If so, it doesn't matter what us soon-to-be 50 years think of the article.