Never judge people on their appearance...

[bikerz]

I'm finding the whole Susan Boyle phenomena somewhat disturbing and provoking.

As a disclaimer I should say that I never watch reality shows - the combination of ego and cruelty totally depresses me, so I was leery of clicking on the link, especially when I saw the reactions of the audience and judges when she came on stage. Their treatment of her was one of the most shocking displays of rudeness I have ever seen, but I suppose that's part of what gives these shows their dramatic tension. "When you came out here, everyone was against you" says one judge. Really?! Wow. (And none of them apologized for their behavior afterward either.)

And then *shock* it turns out that she has a lovely voice, and sang a beautiful song very well, and aha! now everyone loves her. Tears in the judges' eyes, audience on their feet, millions of youtube viewings, etc.

But I find myself thinking - what if she weren't such a wonderful singer? What if she had a so-so voice, but she just really loved to sing? Would the cruelty and judgment have been warranted?

And what was so "surprising" to all of us about her performance? Was it that she was middle-aged, frumpy, with no "sex appeal," and people who look like that shouldn't be expected to have a "cheeky smile," to say nothing of talent? And is it only if they do have talent that they are then deserving of respect and dignity?

I had forwarded the video to a very wise friend who pointed out that Sarah Boyle has recorded and sung in front of audiences before, in fact she said she's sung pretty much all of her life. She walked out on stage in front of a huge audience with poise and confidence, and delivered a beautiful, professional-quality performance. The only thing that makes it surprising is our own preconceptions about her based on her appearance and background. Busted!

I keep thinking about myth-making and the "ugly duckling into swan" narrative, and how this can let us off the hook for our own judgment. The more I thought about it, the closer to home it all hit, because as a not-young, not-skinny cyclist and hiker, I've heard my share of jeers and criticism (from my own internal critic as well as from total strangers). And I find myself wishing I were stronger or faster than I am, so "then I could really show them all! And then wouldn't they feel surprised and embarrassed about their judgment of me?" But I'm not some amazing cycling super-star waiting for my chance to be discovered. So then what?

I'm currently studying some Buddhist mind-training teachings and one of them is "When Practicing Unconditional Acceptance, Start With Yourself." Believe it or not, it's harder than it seems! This whole Sarah Boyle thing is an incredible lesson for me in my own difficulty with unconditional acceptance for others and myself.

I wonder if anything will really change as a result of all this. Will audiences and judges on these shows become kinder and more respectful? Or is Sarah Boyle just the exception that proves the rule of who is expected to succeed in the entertainment world?

(Phew! I haven't posted in a while, and it's a long one! Hopefully it won't turn out to be a thread-killer, as so many of my posts tend to be!)

[sundial]

...I never watch reality shows - the combination of ego and cruelty totally depresses me...I've heard my share of jeers and criticism (from my own internal critic as well as from total strangers). And I find myself wishing I were stronger or faster than I am, so "then I could really show them all! And then wouldn't they feel surprised and embarrassed about their judgment of me?" But I'm not some amazing cycling super-star waiting for my chance to be discovered. So then what?

BikerZ, your words struck a note with me and I can truly empathize with you. We can continue to dismiss any of their shallow notions of what we are perceived to be and what we're capable of doing by continuing to do what we love. Confidence in ourselves will trump their criticism any day.

[BikeDutchess]

Excellent post, bikerz, you've put into words a lot of things that have been bothering me about this Susan Boyle hoopla but that I haven't been able to put together in an coherent way.

[shootingstar]

[QUOTE=bikerz;420269]I wonder if anything will really change as a result of all this. Will audiences and judges on these shows become kinder and more respectful?[QUOTE]

Not whole crowds of people, the herd mentality instinct will continue to be there. And the judges..as becoming "kinder" or more reticent in negative remarks, I find that hard to believe much change will happen on T.V. for especially reality show producers who want to maintain audience ratings and remain on T.V. These shows do not demonstrate subtlety in human behaviour and human relationships.

Which is why I never watched any of the reality shows. Bombastic, often hurtful human relationships or competing over something that is not even a real long-term sport/or any sport at all. The only useful thing is show how selfish and narcissistic, human beings can become.

I am willing to believe there will be a few individual tv viewers sparked to rethink their own personal situation and move on things they have longed to do for a long time. Some people need external VISUAL stories like S. Boyle's singing, played out in front of them, to give them the extra motivation.

[salsabike]

Go BikerZ! And that helps me say what I've been thinking, which is: I wonder how the cycling community would respond if Susan Boyle showed up on a bike? In a jersey and lycra? On an expensive bike? I am sure there are many cyclists who would not make fun of her or roll their eyes. And I'm equally sure that plenty would.

And while I am not religious myself, I really cannot understand why some people think it's okay to be rude to those who are. They're entitled to their own beliefs.

[PamNY]

Has anyone besides me wondered if the Susan Boyle phenomenon was planned? I don't watch this type of show, but it seems reasonable to assume that the people who produce the show have some idea of what's going to happen. It's also reasonable to assume that they know what will appeal to the public.

I'm not certain but I believe the uplifting, follow-your-dreams sort of theme is prevalent in at least some other televisions shows (Oprah) so the popularity of an event like this would not be a surprise.

Pam