I'm happy to say the bike shopping experience wasn't nearly as bad as I feared (or it could have been). I went to two bike shops and even tried bikes at both. My boyfriend came along for support and encouragement, which really helped too (and I don't look that big when I'm standing next to a 6'7 350+ lb football player).

Going in with a lot of information about what I wanted and needed really helped (thanks to all here and other info I read online) so I knew I beforehand that the bikes I was looking at were appropriate for my size, good quality, and suitable for my needs. The employees at both were helpful, nice, older men (which probably made me more comfortable than if it were the cute young very fit guys). I also found, as I suspected from my readings online a women's design would be a bad fit for me.

Now for the next challenges getting in shape, my butt used to this, and comfortable on the unfortunately busy streets with no shoulders or bike lanes in my area. I'm hoping that will come pretty fast so I can really enjoy the full benefits of having a bike soon

thanks again all