Would you hold a wedding shower for yourself?

[Fujichants]

Silly question, is there a difference between a wedding shower and a bridal shower?

My friend is hosting her own bridal shower. I'm one of the bridesmaids, but before we could plan anything, she told us she already planned it.

She even has two registries for her bridal shower...at Williams Sonoma and Tiffany's. The cheapest thing on there is $200. What on earth? Is it normal to have a registry for a bridal shower?

I'm not looking forward to it at all.

[Flybye]

I don't really care what Miss Manners has to say - who left her in charge anyhow?
I think that the bride deserves a celebration even if it is her 10th wedding. I think that gifts can be tailored to brides who already have an established home. I think that I would like nothing more than to be invited to a friend's home and celebrate a new chapter with her - what a privilege - and to me it doesn't matter WHO is hosting the party. I say good for her; her friends are being catty and fighting, so she makes lemonaid out of lemons.
Now, as for gift registries and expensive gifts - that might flavor my opinion in a different direction. I guess even if the bride wanted expensive gifts and/or was a greedy individual, I would still celebrate with her - but by bringing a gift that is dictated by MY budget and not HER tastes.
Bottom line is that the party isn't for me. Who cares what I think about who started the party. Who cares if the bride is greedy? The party isn't for me so I don't get a say! I go, I have fun, and I hope for a blessed marriage. (And I wouldn't hesitate to put my address on an envelope to make the thank-you process easier for the bride either - but that would be another subject for another thread.)

[Trek420]

(And I wouldn't hesitate to put my address on an envelope to make the thank-you process easier for the bride either - but that would be another subject for another thread.)

I don't know nothing about weddings, it's a whole 'nother world and this is a cycling discussion group but I'm just sayin' if the bride/whoever organizes this event knows the person well enough to invite them to a wedding, shower or "c'mon over I'll feed you or let's make this a potluck you just bring a dish to share and expensive gifts for me fest" .... shouldn't the bride/whomever know their address?

What's next? STM invite and thank you?

[Irulan]

My friend is appalled and considers it a generational difference motivated by greed

I don't think necessarily that it's completely generational, but greedy, yes.

[ny biker]

I don't really care what Miss Manners has to say - who left her in charge anyhow?
I think that the bride deserves a celebration even if it is her 10th wedding. I think that gifts can be tailored to brides who already have an established home. I think that I would like nothing more than to be invited to a friend's home and celebrate a new chapter with her - what a privilege - and to me it doesn't matter WHO is hosting the party. I say good for her; her friends are being catty and fighting, so she makes lemonaid out of lemons.
Now, as for gift registries and expensive gifts - that might flavor my opinion in a different direction. I guess even if the bride wanted expensive gifts and/or was a greedy individual, I would still celebrate with her - but by bringing a gift that is dictated by MY budget and not HER tastes.
Bottom line is that the party isn't for me. Who cares what I think about who started the party. Who cares if the bride is greedy? The party isn't for me so I don't get a say! I go, I have fun, and I hope for a blessed marriage. (And I wouldn't hesitate to put my address on an envelope to make the thank-you process easier for the bride either - but that would be another subject for another thread.)

The wedding is the celebration for the bride and groom. Not the shower.

If the bride wants to invite friends to celebrate in her home, then fine, throw a regular party. But don't host an event that exists for no other reason than to shower yourself with gifts.

[teigyr]

Is she asking for gifts?

I always tend to not follow tradition either by choice or circumstance. When I married DH, we had a fairly large wedding (by our terms it was large) but requested no gifts. It wasn't a first wedding for either of us and we wanted people there to celebrate (neither of us had a "real" wedding before) but we didn't want to ask anything of them except just to be there.

Maybe this bride wants a shower? It's not my type of thing but I can see the attraction. Maybe she wants female bonding, games, and fun. Maybe she's lonely and if her bridesmaids are fighting, that could make it all the worse for what should be a fun time in her life.

Unless the price of admission to the shower was cash or something bought from an expensive registry, I applaud her. If people wait for someone else to make things happen, then there is the chance your life won't go the way you want it to and then there would be regret. I think she's brave, especially seeing all the potential criticism that could happen.

[uforgot]

The purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. If she wants to have a party, then have a party. If you are attending a shower, then you are expected to bring a gift.

[Biciclista]

If someone sent me to a gift registry with the minimum gift being $200, I probably wouldn't buy a gift unless it was my grandkid or something.
What I noticed at my son's own wedding was that they got an incredible amount of stuff; and ended up exchanging over $600 worth of booty. As for a wedding shower put on by the bride, I have to ask why. Is she not going to have a wedding party/reception?
I always thought the wedding shower was a celebration with the close girlfriends and female relatives to the bride. You can't tell me that expensive gifts are expected from those people too? and what kind of party would it be if they're all fighting?

The wedding is the celebration of a marriage. In our culture, we celebrate it in church and/or with a party (called the reception) afterwards.

[Fujichants]

In regards to my friend, who is hosting the wedding shower with the expensive gift registries...she also had an engagement party where in the invite she put 'gift cards preferred'.

She is having a big old wedding in September, and for that, her registry is at Bloomingdale's.

I'm going broke just on all her wedding related parties, which I have to attend, because i'm a bridesmaid. it's kind of sad because we wanted to plan her party, but she flat out refused. Kind of makes me wonder...

[maillotpois]

She even has two registries for her bridal shower...at Williams Sonoma and Tiffany's. The cheapest thing on there is $200. What on earth? Is it normal to have a registry for a bridal shower?

That is incredibly tacky!!! As if everyone has an extra $200 for a bridal shower gift - especially in this economy. Sheesh!