Facebook-delisting, changing status

[Mr. Bloom]

You are correct that kids can, and will hide stuff anyway.

Amen, but this ability doesn't absolve us of the responsibility of being a parent. Ours are 15 and 18 now...the older has near total freedom now because she's an adult (no matter how financially dependent she remains ), but rest assured that until that 18th birthday, we were responsible and engaged.

Until they're grown, knowing who they hang out with and what they're exposed to - online or offline - is a basic parenting responsibility. We can't protect them from all their mistakes, but we certainly can let them know that we're interested and observing.

Tonight, daddy's 18 year old little girl...will have her senior prom...and I'll be beaming with pride over who she's become!

[kelownagirl]

Amen, but this ability doesn't absolve us of the responsibility of being a parent. Ours are 15 and 18 now...the older has near total freedom now because she's an adult (no matter how financially dependent she remains ), but rest assured that until that 18th birthday, we were responsible and engaged.

Until they're grown, knowing who they hang out with and what they're exposed to - online or offline - is a basic parenting responsibility. We can't protect them from all their mistakes, but we certainly can let them know that we're interested and observing.

Tonight, daddy's 18 year old little girl...will have her senior prom...and I'll be beaming with pride over who she's become!

I agree exactly. The thing I'm going to do differently with my next teen (he's 11 now) is that I'm not going to be scared to call the parents of the kids I don't know. If he says he's staying over at friend's house, I am going to call an ask the parents if they will be home etc. If he's got nothing to hide, then he shouldn't balk at that. My girls didn't want me to do that because they thought it made me look overprotective and "no one else's mom does that... lol" stupid me for feeling that pressure. I have already let my son know the future ground rules.

When I see kids wandering the streets at 11pm, I wonder if their parents know where they are. I dont' want to be one of those parents.

[ny biker]

When I see kids wandering the streets at 11pm, I wonder if their parents know where they are. I dont' want to be one of those parents.

My sister and her husband have a rule for their three kids: they must ask a parent's permission before they go anyplace. This means that if my nephew is at a friend's house, and he and his buds want to go out to get some food or to a different friend's house or wherever, he has to call home and ask first. They're 17, 14 and 12, and they all accept this rule, and they understand the reason for it is that their parents just want to know where they are. So far it's worked out okay.

[Tuckervill]

I don't have that rule in my house, but we do follow the principles of trust and safety, which lead us to call and let the people who care about us know if we're not going to be where we say we are.

It is quite possible to live in mutual relationship of equal status with differing roles, in a family. We do it, and I personally know hundreds of other families, and am acquainted with thousands of others who do, too. It's not my kid or those kids cutting themselves or being self-destructive or sneaking around or feeling insecure about where they stand in the world.

Karen

[Tuckervill]

From a theoretical perspective (Adlerian) kids act out because they want attention - from who??? most often parents.

Then it would follow that kids who get enough attention won't act out, right? Like I said, nothing to rebel against, so why rebel?

Paradigm shift.

Karen

[Flybye]

Then it would follow that kids who get enough attention won't act out, right? Like I said, nothing to rebel against, so why rebel?

Paradigm shift.

Karen

Yep - it is all pretty circular! I guess with the exception of the kids that get WAY too much hover mother attention!
My kids are lots like yours- nothing to rebel against really. They know the rules and know not to push them.
Tuckerville - I miss you! How are you doing anyhow?? I am so busy with school that I just don't get to chat much with everyone on TE!!

[Tuckervill]

I'm good! I see by your name, grad school is winning. I'm sure it's worth it and you'll be back on the bike again soon!

Karen

[Geonz]

I read early and late posts and figure that from the quantity there's been nerves touched.

It's funny, 'cause Facebook came up on the school librarians' listserv and whew! interesting discussions! LM_NET is *heavily* moderated (because there are something like 12,000 librarians on it and among other things, every vendor in the world would love access...) and usually discussions are about reference materials.

I got an account a few months ago because they set up a page for our office at work hoping a few students might stumble upon it. Some of my cycling friends are on it and it's really easy to just see what's happening, on my terms and on my time.

Some of 'em are up to their i-balls in applications and quizzes and real drivel... but that's not necessary.

[shootingstar]

Is that what you were/are, a school-teacher librarian, Geoz?

I'm a different librarian stripe ...my whole career has been dealing with adults/adult learners so far. About info. literacy skills of adults. Ok, maybe I did deal with a couple of older teenagers who were looking to impress their teachers by researching university-level resources.

So, what are some of the main themes from that network discussion about Facebook? (Sorry, I'm on other forums and need to focus the info. universe on a daily basis for myself without adding yet another network to monitor.)

[Irulan]

I thought this was kind of funny in lieu of the bridal shower thread ongoing elsewhere on this board.

I found an old HS party buddy of mine, from 1977 or so. We were catching up, and had the conversation about when she got married during our senior years.
She had asked me to be a bridesmaid and I said no because I had no money. She thought I had said no because I didn't approve! We cleared that up right away, 30 years later....

[deeaimond]

Going back to the topic on facebook...

I think I like facebook because I like to share certain things I do with my friends and when friends are all over the world, and everyone's so busy, Just take a look at my updated pictures (no need to repeat same story 50 times. by the 5th time you leave out most things)

or sometimes its late in the night and I'm working on something and i'm bored or feel lonely and its just rude to call, or to phone, and u don't want to wake the family. saying something on facebook will find me someone I know who might have a chat with me?

I have had friends of friends who try to add me, i just tell them sorry, i only add people i know in person. that said, i never share anything truly personal. just stuff i'd share if i met an old friend on a street.

i find it weird how some pple put pictures of them kissing their bfs, or stuff like that. my bf has been contemplating getting off facebook. he says that when your Dad and Aunts have facebook accounts, its time to get off... hahha. I think i need to find the time to defriend some people (but I also like to perve on their pics.. call me nosy hehhe)