Quote Originally Posted by GeoCam View Post
No offense, Tuckervill, but it just ain't that simple. Teenage rebellion has nothing to do with going to kindergarten!! It has to do with the difficult transition from childhood to adulthood. The child invariably thinks they have completed the journey long before their impulse control, rational thinking, and good judgment have fully developed. As a parent, it is my RESPONSIBILITY to say "no" when my daughter wants to engage in adult-type behaviors when she is only 13. Kids really think they have it all figured out and cannot understand why they are not being treated like adults. I certainly recall how much smarter my own parents got once I really grew up - precisely because my judgment was impaired and I was just flat NOT as smart as I thought I was. You couldn't have convinced me at the time, but I needed my parents to clamp down a bit to keep me safe from myself! I resented the hell out of it, and that is teenage rebellion - and it is very natural.

No matter how good a kid is, they need guidance, rules and boundaries. You don't have to be a tyrant, but you can't really have a "mutual" relationship. Somebody has to be the parent. That is not master/subject - that is parent/child. It is not a bad thing.
I applaud you for taking a stand about parenting not being a mutual relationship. I agree with you wholeheartedly from a number of perspectives. First of all, I think that authority does not mean tyranny - that one can be in charge without being the awful dictator.
Secondly, as a intern in the middle school this year I have repeatedly heard the kids who are in trouble say "I'd never tell my mom/dad/parents this but I wish that they would put their foot down on me/sit on me more/be more in charge/pay more attention to what I was texting-doing with friends after school-doing online. From a theoretical perspective (Adlerian) kids act out because they want attention - from who??? most often parents.
I find that it is interesting that we are all for not letting our dogs think that they have dominance in the pet-master relationship but we are entrusted with CHILDREN and let them believe that they are mutual decision makers and mutal in the parent CHILD relationship.
The well adjusted kids that come in for help have parents who are in authority and set boundaries.
That being said, there is another end of the spectrum - kids whose parents are not authorities, but authoritarian - making every decision for them and not allowing them any room to breathe and make decisions on their own - those kids rebel in the process of finding their own identity.
and
since this thread is actually about Facebook I will say that one of the most important things a parent can do in the process of guiding a child through life is to have access to passwords. Cyberbullying is becoming more of an issue - so is "sexting". Again, as an intern counselor in the schools, we are trained to ask for Facebook/My Space account information from our kids - we gain so much insight into their lives by the information they give on these accounts - things like early alcohol/ drug use, sexuality, depression, cutting, suicide, etc. Big things. Important things. And I have never had a kid say no when I have asked in a curious way. And I don't use what I learn against them - I use it as an opener into topics that are new and scary for them - as a parent WHAT A FANTASTIC OPPORTUNITY - DON'T MISS IT!
okay, I have shared my $.02