Facebook-delisting, changing status

[Tuckervill]

No offense, Tuckervill, but it just ain't that simple. Teenage rebellion has nothing to do with going to kindergarten!! It has to do with the difficult transition from childhood to adulthood. The child invariably thinks they have completed the journey long before their impulse control, rational thinking, and good judgment have fully developed. As a parent, it is my RESPONSIBILITY to say "no" when my daughter wants to engage in adult-type behaviors when she is only 13. Kids really think they have it all figured out and cannot understand why they are not being treated like adults. I certainly recall how much smarter my own parents got once I really grew up - precisely because my judgment was impaired and I was just flat NOT as smart as I thought I was. You couldn't have convinced me at the time, but I needed my parents to clamp down a bit to keep me safe from myself! I resented the hell out of it, and that is teenage rebellion - and it is very natural.

No matter how good a kid is, they need guidance, rules and boundaries. You don't have to be a tyrant, but you can't really have a "mutual" relationship. Somebody has to be the parent. That is not master/subject - that is parent/child. It is not a bad thing.

I have 2 adult sons and one well on his way. My oldest child went all the way through school and is now a successful businessman with a family. My middle child went half way through school and is now a successful businessman. I was fortunate enough to have not scarred either one (much) by all the experimental parenting that we all endured during their childhoods. Once we settled on this paradigm, of mutual relationship devoid of school and and all it entails, we had more just downright happiness and joy on a day to day basis, while still living a successful life. Today is all we have, so joy for today is valuable to me.

I have a wonderful relationship with my oldest child--a mutual relationship based on human dignity and value, a friendship, with better benefits--we influence each other because we love each other. Those are the same principles that I have extended to my other children, regardless of their age. That's all.

I'll be the first to say that school is not the only problem with our society, and I can't really imagine our society without school. But many problems in our society can be traced to the too-early separation of children from their parents. That begins in kindergarten as a rule, and sometimes even earlier.

If you've never experienced any other way of life, you may not be able to imagine that teenage rebellion is not natural. Separation and independence ARE natural. Rebellion, no.

Karen

[Crankin]

My kids didn't rebel, either. They were very normal, in that they went to school, did activities, and actually managed to not drink or wreck any cars when they were in HS. I don't really know how we got so lucky. But we are friends as adults, and they both ask for advice. We don't see them as much, even the one who lives in the area, but that's OK. Our job was to launch them and we did it.
I don't think you have to have kids to know what's right. I worked with some very young, childless teachers who were so outstanding and had the "sixth sense" of what the kids needed. Both of my kids have this gene, even though they have are not teachers (still hoping the one in the military will go this way when he finishes).
I didn't stop doing any of the bad things I did when I was caught. But, I really was never caught doing anything too bad, compared to what was actually going on. I expected my kids to do the same, but I think they were a bit scared about what would happen if they drank and drove, took drugs, got someone pregnant, etc. My younger son was racing and no "bad stuff" would go into his body and the other one was busy with his music, writing, books, friends.
I think most parents are afraid of being honest with their kids, based on my experience as a teacher and as an observer of my peers.