I don't have kids. But fwiw, I work in an office building where 3 of the floors are leased by the local community college, and they hold classes here, so I see plenty of teenagers around the building every day. And I am amazed at how clueless they are. They literally don't know you are standing next to them in the elevator. And it's not because they are stupid or poorly raised, it's just obvious that their brains are not fully grown up yet. I'm sure I was just as clueless when I was that age.

So I do think that parents need to be involved as closely as possible in what their teenaged kids are up to. There are better and worse ways to be involved, and hopefully more parents are figuring out the better ways than not. I know it's not easy to do.

And I'm no Carolyn Hax, Catriona, but if you're over 21 and your mother is still telling you what time to go to bed, I suspect that your family issues extend beyond privacy.