Facebook-delisting, changing status

[kelownagirl]

Less cranky about crap now. Deleting thoughtless comments.

[ny biker]

I don't have kids. But fwiw, I work in an office building where 3 of the floors are leased by the local community college, and they hold classes here, so I see plenty of teenagers around the building every day. And I am amazed at how clueless they are. They literally don't know you are standing next to them in the elevator. And it's not because they are stupid or poorly raised, it's just obvious that their brains are not fully grown up yet. I'm sure I was just as clueless when I was that age.

So I do think that parents need to be involved as closely as possible in what their teenaged kids are up to. There are better and worse ways to be involved, and hopefully more parents are figuring out the better ways than not. I know it's not easy to do.

And I'm no Carolyn Hax, Catriona, but if you're over 21 and your mother is still telling you what time to go to bed, I suspect that your family issues extend beyond privacy.

[Cataboo]

And I'm no Carolyn Hax, Catriona, but if you're over 21 and your mother is still telling you what time to go to bed, I suspect that your family issues extend beyond privacy.

Ha. It's a long term fight. She married into a family of night owls and produced 5 kids that are as well.

Her bedtime was at 9 pm, and the rest of us naturally wanted to stay up till 3 am.

40 years later, it still drives her nuts that we wouldn't just be good kids and go to sleep at 9.

It probably doesn't help that with my Dad's side of the family and the rest of us, we sorta routinely call each other at 2 or 3 am since we all know the rest of us are going to still be awake.

Mom also tells me to go pee if I'm visiting her and we're gonna leave the house to go to the mall or something.

She's a fairly adorable mother, but she's had a hard time letting go over worrying about every single aspect of our lives. I get phone calls to remind me to lock the doors at night as well. And given that she knows I'm often awake early to drive long distances in traffic, she worries about my sleep deprivation.

[Cataboo]

I appreciated that you have a point of view but until you have your own kids, you really don't know. You are being very idealistic. It also depends a great deal on the crowd that your kids are exposed to - it depends on SO much. I did all of the things that you have said, and I do consider myself a good parent. I'm sure if you ask my adult daughters, they will say the same thing. However, I will still be vigilant and question what my kids do because I want to keep them alive. That does not mean I am being a copy, or being over protective. I cannot believe how many of my kids friends are allowed to go to bush parties for example. I know for a fact that their kids are puking drunk and driving home afterwards. I let my daughter go to one, she was driving and I was positive she wouldn't drink. It was a huge mistake. She rolled the car one the drive home, even tho she was sober, simply b/c she was inexperienced. She was fine but stupid me for feeling peer pressure from the other parents, Yadda yadda, I could go on and on, but I ask politely that you consider the fact that you DON"T have kids when you continue to argue your point.

Kelownagirl,

I'm not arguing a point. I'm discussing things, I could discuss or argue either side of this. And my last post was asking people if they considered parental interventions when they were a teenager effective. I also started it off with "I sort of think" which I know is an awfully aggressive way to start a post. I stated early on that everyone should raise their kids how they like.

Becoming a parent, does not magically make anyone an authority on anything, nor does it make them magically a responsible person who worries about the implications of everything their children are doing. Nor does it make them an authority with more valid opinions or qualifications than others. It's pretty obvious that neither of us know much about each other's lives and experiences, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt that you're literate, you're on the computer, you're human, so your opinions have validity and are based on experiences in your own life and were not formed in a bubble devoid of life experiences and other people - and I won't ask that you prove that based on some litmus test before I consider your opinions.

[kelownagirl]

Kelownagirl,

I'm not arguing a point. I'm discussing things, I could discuss or argue either side of this. And my last post was asking people if they considered parental interventions when they were a teenager effective. I also started it off with "I sort of think" which I know is an awfully aggressive way to start a post. I stated early on that everyone should raise their kids how they like.

Becoming a parent, does not magically make anyone an authority on anything, nor does it make them magically a responsible person who worries about the implications of everything their children are doing. Nor does it make them an authority with more valid opinions or qualifications than others. It's pretty obvious that neither of us know much about each other's lives and experiences, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt that you're literate, you're on the computer, you're human, so your opinions have validity and are based on experiences in your own life and were not formed in a bubble devoid of life experiences and other people - and I won't ask that you prove that based on some litmus test before I consider your opinions.

Just ignore me, I was stressed out and cranky when I wrote that. Sorry

[Cataboo]

No worries, I was a little cranky in return.